Re;birth Hacker

Restart: The World In Your Image

"-ck." Noire slaps me upside the head. "Dorian, how many times do we have to say that there are children around?!" I glare back at her. "Oh, come on. Neptune's at least responsible enough to not copy me." Neptune sighs. "Nice to know you still think of me as a child..." ~ "You're not? You look like you're twelve... Thirteen in HDD. Hell, Nepgear looks older than you." Nepgear, who was passing by, glances over. "We're told that a lot..." Blanc glares over to us. "Can you can it?! We're dealing with a serious problem here!" I motion to the tv, at the display of absolute disastrous planning and organization. "You really think these guys are gonna be a problem? They're basically being led by the world's most anxious librarian, the fruitiest of piss babies, and the textbook definition of a child." Noire raises an eyebrow, "What is with these terms?" ~ "I'd say it'll take them a few weeks- no, a few days to implode on themselves." The others stare at me judgingly. "Okay, I don't have any money on me, so don't start." IF tugs on my sleeve. "Hey...weren't you a part of the Seven Sages?" Neptune nods. "Yeah, you never really explained why you were working with them." I sigh, "Right, right. Okay, so... When I first arrived in this timeline, I made contact with the Seven Sages. I knew that they were kidnapping children to use in their CPU experiments, so I offered to keep them safe should anything happen. Since I knew around what time you guys would be encountering them, I set off to hide the children. Although...it's been so long since I've seen this timeline; I kinda went to the wrong places at the wrong time. I had to stop you from killing the children, so I played it off like I was the secret eighth member of the Seven Sages. Either way, what's done is done." Noire looks to me. "If that was the case, why didn't you just tell us that those monsters were the children?" ~ "That's a very good question..." I disappear in a puff of Dark Aura.

(10 Years Later)

"Eden, the nation founded by the Seven Sages, captured the attention of the entire world. It's easier to gather shares when you have everyone's attention, which is problematic for us... Of course, they continue to do all sorts of bad things behind the scenes, so we're doing our best to stop them... But at the most critical moments, we're stopped by Yellow Heart or the monster children. We're hopeless... Every time we have to retreat, more people put their faith into Eden. It's become a vicious cycle... Even now, we struggle to think up any effective countermeasures. We've been unable to make any headway for ten years now... ...Okay. How was my narration? I think my summarization was pretty darn good, if I say so myself." I wave my hand lazily from the railing of the balcony. "Yes, yes. Thank you Nepgear for stating that ten years has passed since the previous scene; once again proving that this part has way too many time skips for what I'm comfortable with. How old am I? I have no clue." Nepgear looks over to me. "W-Was it really that effective?" [Nepgear has mastered the 'Long-winded Monologue' Ability!] "Aww, what the goodness, you guys! I even get those things when I'm narrating?!" I give a thumbs up to the sky. "Nice~!"

(Location Update: Lowee Basilicom)

Neptune cheers. "To switch things up, today we're gonna have an event inside of Lowee's Basilicom!" Plutia hums. "Always seeing the Planeptune background is soooo boring..." Blanc scowls. "I'd rather you not use my Basilicom for such a stupid reason." Nepgear sweatdrops. "Um, actually, we have a good reason for coming here. Your Basilicom is the closest to Eden's border." Neptune looks to Nepgear. "Sure, but you told everyone that ten years passed and stuff, so only doing this now makes us look bad. Plus, our appearances and outfits haven't changed at all! Do we never go clothes shopping, ladies?" Vert hums. "My appearance remaining the same cannot be helped, as beauty is an everlasting trait." Nepgear nods. "But...look. IF and Compa have both grown up and are true adults now." Neptune shrugs. "It's still kind of a weak impact if it's just those two. For me, I'd rather it be like this... The second half introduces a tough young lad spinning tonfas around like the world's savior. That'd be cool!" Blanc sighs. "Sounds like it has its pros and cons." Noire groans. "Uh, you all DO understand the awful situation we're in, right?" I look up, a blue and red glow around me. "Imagine... Ideal... Illusion... Eden, the Kame-" A hammer flies past me, hitting the wall just inches from my head. Plutia tilts her head. "Huuuuuh...? We understand..." ~ "Then shouldn't we have a serious discussion about it? That's why we've all gathered together, right?" Neptune smirks. "Serious to a fault. It's times like this where we shouldn't forget to keep things light and happy, I say!" Noire looks to Neptune. "If I weren't here to yank on your leash, you'd just bark nonsense all day long!" Nepgear sweatdrops. "N-Noire, please don't get upset..." A loud, booming, voice comes from across the room. "This is where green tea is perfect! Drink the tea I boiled with my burning heart and calm your spirits!" Neptune takes a cup of tea. "Oh, thanks. What a thoughtful dude. Whooooa, butterfingers!" ~ "Careful, my silly little friend! It would be a shame for you to spill it and burn your cute little hands!" Noire points to Copypaste. "He's from the Seven Sages!" Vert glances over to Blanc. "Why is a member of the Seven Sages in Lowee's Basilicom?" ~ "We repaired him. It's standard practice to have a tea-making robot in a Japanese-style castle." I deadpan. "The fact that you know what Japan is, shocks me." Excited Nepgear is excited. "Wowee! A tea-making ROBOT?!" Noire deadpans. "Don't get all starry-eyed just because she said 'robot'!" Vert sighs. "I would not call his presence standard. He is more than a little out of place." Plutia looks over to Blanc. "Hmmmm... Hey, Blanny...?" ~ "Yes?" ~ "Ummmmmmmm..." ~ "D-Don't just stare at me. It makes me feel awkward." ~ "Hehehe...! You're soooo nice, Blanny..." ~ "N-No, I'm not! It's not like that! Don't take my actions the wrong way!" Copypaste laughs, as the whole building shakes. "Bwahahaha! The blushing face of Lady Blanc is absolutely ADORABLE!!!!" Plutia hums. "Blanny, you're soooooo cute..." ~ "I...I ain't cute, dammit! You dumb@$$es better cut it out!" Neptune anxiously looks to Blanc. "Still, isn't this kinda dangerous? What if he lets out a crazy roar and starts flipping tables or whatever?" Copypaste looks to Neptune. "Hey, now! Don't speak of me like I'm an ingrate! If that's how you see me, my heart burns with sadness... Lady Blanc is, by definition, my savior! I've pledged to give my life to her and to Lowee! YEAH!!" Blanc clears her throat. "Ahem... That's how it is, so..." Vert sweatdrops. "I suppose it is uncouth of me to intervene in the activities of another Basilicom. What Blanc says, goes." Nepgear looks to Blanc, still with stars in her eyes. "Excuse me, Blanc! May I dismantle him for fun?!" Copypaste sweatdrops. "D-Dismantle a living robot?! For FUN?! What a terrifying girl!" Blanc glances to Nepgear. "Shouldn't you ask him yourself?" Nepgear looks to Copypaste. "Oh pretty please, even if it's only your head! Just dismantling your head would make me super happy!" ~ "That's my most important part! Nope, can't do it. No way, kid!" ~ "Aww, pretty please with sugar on top? I'm begging you!" Noire scowls. "I'm only going to bring it up one more time. I would like us to have a serious discussion soon." Neptune sweatdrops. "Whoa, Noire looks like she's about to snap her celery stalks." Nepgear bows. "Oops, I'm sorry! I'll be serious now." Blanc looks to Copypaste. "...You're dismissed. Good work." ~ "Understood! Give me a holler if you need a fresh pot of my delicious tea!" Vert sighs. "Even if we have a serious talk, there isn't much to go over." Neptune nods. "Right? We'll keep losing to their wacky CPU, and we can't fight the old dude's nasty monsters." Nepgear looks to Neptune. "I agree. It feels like time is passing us by as we sit here, unable to take any action..." Blanc nods. "We just get together every now and then to groan about it to each other." Noire groans. "Ugh! But we can't just sit around and do nothing at all! If we bounce ideas off one another long enough, we're bound to think up a really clever plan!" Plutia pouts. "But when I think, nothing happens..." I look to Plutia. "Ah, that's not good. You're probably dying, Pluts. I'd recommend going to the Planeptune Basilicom and praying to the goddess there. Surely you'll be healed if you do that." Nepgear whispers to me. "Isn't Plutia the goddess there?" ~ "Shh~ Don't tell her." Vert nods. "It is certainly true that we are struggling to deal with the issue. Before I knew it, Leanbox's shares had been reduced by half." Neptune chimes in. "Yeah, if a CPU appears with more power and bigger boobs than Vert, there's no reason to follow her." ~ "Do not make comments that make it sound as though one's worth is only measured by their cup size!" I look down and exhale. "Oh good, I'm adequate." Neptune playfully fist pumps. "No worries. Just recycle my zinger on opposite day and use it against Blanc." Blanc glares at Neptune. "If you're picking a fight, bring it." Nepgear sweatdrops. "Neptune... Th-That's probably a topic you should drop..." Plutia nods. "Uh-huuuuh... I mean, we have the same problem as Blanc, kiiiiinda..." Neptune shakes her head. "There's a huge difference between one and zero, y'know. One can be increased, but zero is always zero." Blanc glares at Neptune. "Jack@$$! You calling my chest a zero?!" Noire snaps. "Stop it! NOW! Enough fooling around, geez! I mean, shouldn't you be the most worried? You won't be able to go home at this rate!" Neptune sighs. "Oof. The truth hurts. Our dimension's a wreck, too. Whenever I talk to Histy, I can almost smell the tension baking." Nepgear looks down. "We really need to do something..." Vert sighs. "And yet, we haven't a single plan." Blanc exhales. "We're just spitting out dialogue in a never-ending circle." Plutia pouts. "This is sooooo hard..." Noire groans. "Ugh... So basically, I... No, we can't keep losing, so..." Copypaste rushes back into the room. "LADY BLANC, GRAAAAH!" Neptune gasps. "Ack! Louder than Nep Jr.'s snoring!" Nepgear covers her ears. "My...My poor ears..." Blanc glares at Copypaste. "Your normal speaking voice is already loud. That's why I told you never to shout. Remember?" ~ "Whoopsies! Old habits die hard, eh? But it feels so refreshing to howl from the pit of my stomach!" Plutia nods. "Ooooh yeah, I agree..." Copypaste looks to Plutia. "Oh-ho! So you understand! Let's shout our hearts out together! Ready, and...YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Plutia shouts, "Yeaahhhhh...!" I throw my right arm into a salute, letting out the loudest. "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-!!!!!!!!!" Blanc snaps. "Knock it off! You have something to tell us, don't you?" ~ "Oh, right! I nearly forgot. An urgent message has arrived! It seems the Seven Sages are up to no good at the city's outskirts!" Vert looks to the others. "That's rather close to us." Blanc scowls. "Dammit, they're getting cocky. I guess I'll just have to go hurl them back to their base!" Nepgear looks to Blanc. "Um, but... If those little monsters show up again..." Noire shakes her head. "We can't let that chance prevent us from doing our jobs." Neptune nods. "Fine, let's do this thing! Be a good boy and guard the house, okay?" Plutia looks to Copypaste. "Thank you for the tea... It was soooo yummy..." The group runs off as Copypaste waves. "Be careful out there, kids! I'll stay here and cheer you on!"