I am NOT an elfling

Waking Up

You know that feeling of when your in bed and you feel like you're falling, but then you startle and am fine. Yeah well theres actually scientific reason for that, i don't remember it, but there is one. I do remember when i was little and didn't know it though, i used to pretend your soul would fly from your body while you were asleep sometimes, and when you got that felling, you woke up too soon, a second before it came back, and you would actually feel it fall back into you. Im an atheist and have been most of my life, but i still liked to pretend.

Well anyway, you know that feeling, well i do and i just got a very good reminder of what it feels like.
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Epp! I silently cried abs my stomach dropped...I fell asleep! I missed dinner! Oh god, I didn't do my homework! I really needed to pee before and know i dont....ok, i didn't pee myself, thank god, if i did i would have died of embaressment. Ok next problem. WHERE THE HELL ARE MY COVERS! WHERE THE HECK IS MY BED! AND WHY THE BLOODY HECK AM I IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE!........and why is my hair so long.....?

Ok Ash, calm down. Ok. Now slowly re-open your eyes and look around. I take a deep breath, letting the cool, almost intoxicating air into my lungs. I am high up. On a mountain. Everything is covered in mist so i cant see far, but i see a light sprinkling of snow further off. My vision. I normally need glasses to see far off things, but everything is crystal clear. I gaze in wonder at the view around me. I am seriously weirdly calm for this situation. Breath. Ok. I can move my limbs. I look down. Arghhh! I mini scream. Wow my voice sounds amazing.

Ouch. I need a drink. I silently examine myself. This can not be real. Im tiny. My now small feet are covered in little brown boots i don't own and sure as hell didn't wear to bed. My legs are thinner than i ever thought pissible. Im not severely over weight. But i am slightly over. Not anyonore. Not only am i the size of around a two year old. Im almost annorexic. My legs are covered in dark green leggings and they are so fragile looking I'm actually slightly scared. Im the definition of clumsy, i roll my ankles all the time, trip, bumping into things, wake up with bruises from just sleeping and am just generally always hurting myself. I normally don't worry as i was always big with a solid build. But now...

I move on i have a dress, also green, coming up to my knees, its thick but not heavy, and made well. My hips are tiny and narrow. My stomach goes innward. My d cup boobs have shrunk to non-existence and my arms are as thin and as fragile as my legs. Damn those are some nice elbows! Ok. Im insane. My hands are adorable, the once short, calloused, stubby fingers are now small, dainty and so damn cute. My nails are long, and though they are cute, i can tell they will be annoying. Should i risk chewing them off, or wait for something to cut them with? Egh, ill leave them.

My hair. My once slightly longer than shoulder length, indecisive between black and brown, wavy/curly, frizzy, uneven, dry, split ended hair is now definitely not that. Its long, like Repunzel long, past my legs, though i am sitting down, and is now softer than , well, I've never felt silk ( that i can remember ) so.... Softer than a bunny, or synthetic throw rungs, or fluffy jackets, it feels like what you imagine a cloud feels like as a child. This is not my hair. Its still the same indecisive colour, dark brown that could be confused for black. But against my now paler than paler skin ( seriously what!!?!?!) my skin! It used ti be olive with a slight, but hard earned tan, now though it is so pale it glows, literally! Well, anyway, my new hair looks otherworldly against it , i can barely believe its me. My hair now isnt frizzy at all! My fingers slide through it, but the curls and waves and ringlets just bounce back together. Cool. I stroke my hair, i assume it would drag slightly on the ground as i walk, but as i stroke it i feel somthing, something that makes this all the more unreal. A tiny. Pointed. Ear.

And..........i faint.
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Waking up take two.

It wasn't a dream. I didn't think it was, but as soon as i open my eyes through my foggy mind and try to sit up, i see the same landscape, feel the same body. I feel dizzier than ever, and slump back down, ok, sitting up was a bad idea. My stomach starts to churn, and i try to wait it out, i tug the brown baggy jacket around me, its getting colder. I can seem to do anything but lie down for a long time. Its so silent you can literally hear it. Cause that makes so much sense. As the waves of nausea slow down i start shivering, and all of a sudden want to cry. Not a chance, i don't cry...much, at least i try not to unless im at home, in bed at night reading sad quotes and stories on my ipad. I hate crying. When i cry i hyperventilate, i double breath, i get a headache, my nose snots up, my face heats up. Not pretty, well at least i don't go blotchy. I don't cry often either. Only ever few months, and that includes sad movies and books ( yes i cry in books, don't judge me). Either way, apparently this new body came with a set of new emotions, cause hot tears start running down my face and fall in wet splashes on my neck and the ground. Stupid emotions.

I finally stop crying ( thank god) but i feel like shit, crying does that to me. I want to sleep, yet i know i shouldn't, so i try rolling over to my side. My head spins for a few seconds, but then I'm alright, except for the cold. I wish i wws home, with my giant bed, warm clothes and food, my parents and sister, my ipad and tv. I stop myself before i start crying again, what the hell is wrong with me?!?

After a while i can stand, and i survey the surrounding, its beautiful, like my wildest dreams. I imagined seeing places like this someday, the clear dark sky, the mist sounding the mountains like a halo, the grass green and fresh, random giant rocks that you could climb, flat parts off land you could run across, trees springing up determinedly from the ground scattered along the horizon, and the stars, god the stars. In movies they always show stars out in the wild away from pollution like they are then most beautiful things in the world, and sure they are pretty, but i was always a sun girl.

I love the heat, the burn of it on my skin, its glows, its power, its ability to give life. And my opinion hadn't changed, but these stars, there are billions, so close together, and maybe its my new magnified eyesight and the lack of pollution, but they are so beautiful,its hard to explain, like an uncountable amount of arkenstones in the sky. Yep, you guesses it, im a hobbit fan, love the books, have a love/hate relationship with the movies.

Lord of the rings, that reminds me. Could a really be an elf? Its laughable, I'm more like a dwarf anyway. Anyhow, there are loads of different books/movies with elves. Wait what! I have to be kidding. This isn't real. I have to be in a coma, or on cookoo gas or something. This is insane. Just as my thoughts start to pull me in though, i hear something. Something you dont want to hear alone on a dark, dark night. I hear wolves.