Running for My Undead Life

Chapter 8: The Change Part 1

The rest of junior year flew by. I worked hard to make memories with Lena, Nikki, and Jasmine that I would be able to look back on and cherish hopefully in the years to come, still not certain about where the future would lead. The summer was spent mostly with Lena, at the cliff of our first date in Knotting Hill Forest. My love for her grew stronger as time went by, with Logan's words of what comes next constantly ringing in my head. As our senior year started, I grew anxious about the coming months. Knowing my birthday would change everything, in ways that I couldn't even imagine yet. As Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Valentine's Day came and went, my heart became heavier and heavier.

My brothers were currently home from school, spending more time at home than they had in a couple of years in preparation for my birthday. "Hey," Spencer said as I came down the stairs Saturday afternoon. "What are you doing home?" I asked confused. "Logan and I wanted to spend some time with you today if you can pencil us in," he stared at me solemnly, showing more emotion than he had in a long time. For a minute, I saw the old Spencer, the one who hadn't closed himself off to the world, the one who still had hopes and dreams beyond our so called "fate." "Sure," I replied simply, unable to stare into his burdened eyes any longer. Logan came down soon after and we left. They took me to our favorite stretch of beach we used to escape to all the time as kids; a spot only true locals know about. We spent the day surfing and reminiscing about the way things used to be when we were all much closer. It felt like we were still children with no worries in the world. I couldn't remember the last time I had completely forgotten about the future and my impending doom. Yet, as soon as the sun had started to set, my heart was filled with lead and my mind was in overdrive thinking about Monday, March 4th, my birthday.

They took me to our favorite diner next. Aunt Tara was already there, sitting in our usual booth as we walked in. I ran up to her, pulling her into the longest hug of my life. Tears silently slipped out of my eyes as she stroked my hair. My body was exhausted, physically and mentally, as the weight of the world crashed onto me. I held onto my aunt, more like a mom than my own mother, with all of my strength. After a few minutes, I let go and we sat down together. No one mentioned the tears or the prolonged hug. I stared out the window, trying to regain control of myself. A waitress came and took our orders. It was a few more minutes before anyone spoke. "How was Europe?" Aunt Tara asked Logan, who had spent his summer abroad. After that, conversation flowed around me with small talk. I listened and talked when spoken to, but otherwise did my best to just enjoy the moment. I still had until the end of school to live my life the way I am now, but I couldn't stop the overflow of emotions from taking over my body. Knowing that all I have left of my current life is a few months was enough to make me sick. Speaking of, I stood quickly and slid out of the booth, heading for the bathroom in a rush. As I came back out, my brothers and aunt were all standing at the door, waiting for me to leave. I gave Aunt Tara another hug as she whispered words of encouragement to me.

Spencer and Logan dropped me off at Nikki's house, where I would be spending the night with her and Jasmine. Both of whom, had no idea anything was changing. To them, it was another normal Saturday. I had requested beforehand that we spend the night in, just the three of us. We lounged around, talking about old memories. Stupid things we had done, fun nights we had together, bad relationships, anything I could think of just to remind myself how lucky I was to have had the time with them that I did. I laid there awake, long after Jasmine and Nikki had already fallen asleep, until the tears I was unable to stop had finally lulled me to sleep. The next morning Spencer picked me up early, before the other two had even woken up. I didn't want to alarm them with tearful "I love you's" or weird hugs that wouldn't make any sense to them. "Thanks for picking me up," I said as I hopped in his car. "No problem," he replied as we pulled away. "You going to see Lena tonight?" he looked at me out of the corner of his sunglasses. "Yeah," I sighed, "she wants to celebrate my birthday tonight because 'Monday is a horrible day to celebrate a birthday on.'" He chuckled, "she's a keeper." I didn't respond as his words replayed over and over in my head. Tears prickled my eyes as I stared out the window. "Art?" He noticed my rigid body. "What- shit..." he trailed off, realizing what he had said. "I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking. I mean, maybe it will work out, right? Maybe-" "Please stop," I cut him off, barely able to choke the words out. The chances of mine and Lena's relationship being able to last more than the next couple of months were slim. Try as I might to accept that, I hadn't been able to so far and a false sense of hope like his would only leave me more heartbroken in the end.