Running for My Undead Life

Chapter 12: Goodbye

We met up at school on Monday and acted like nothing out of the ordinary happened over the weekend. Nikki and Jasmine caught up with us, Jasmine telling us all about her "super fun weekend" while Nikki barely gave up any details. Lena and I shared goofy looks while Jasmine spoke, knowing our weekend was definitely more interesting than anything she could tell us. The rest of the day went by smoothly, followed by the rest of the week, which turned into the next couple of weeks. Nothing eventful happened at school or at home. I had zero news from Spencer and Cassie, who I hadn't seen for about five weeks since the night at Oasis. It was now May and we had just finished our last day of school and graduation was in a few days on Saturday. I felt lost as my friends and girlfriend couldn't stop talking about what they would do now. Jasmine got into an Ivy League school, no surprise. Nikki was staying in Oak Hills, but was going to business school in the fall. Lena was talking about taking a gap year to explore the world before going to school to study medicine. I couldn't help but feel a sense of hope, that maybe we could have some more time together during her gap year. Maybe I could explore the world with her before having to make a decision about what I'm going to do next. We laid in her bed while her family was downstairs making dinner. "You haven't said what your plans are for the fall?" She laid on her side looking into what felt like my soul. "That's because it's still a few months away," I responded cheekily. She sighed, not really amused. This was a conversation we had been having for a while, but I always changed the subject. Guess she wasn't having that anymore. "Artemis... if your plan is to just figure things out as they come, that's fine. I would just like to know if you applied to any schools or you're taking a gap year or what. I just need something." I sat up in her bed, feeling upset, but not with her. Just myself and my situation. "I don't know what to tell you, Lena. I kind of dropped the ball. I didn't apply to any schools. I haven't considered if I'm taking a gap year or if I am, what that even means. I don't know what to do with my life." "Hey," she sat up too and put her hand on my shoulder, using her thumb to rub circles on it, "it's okay. You still have time to decide. You can always come with me and explore the world," she smiled a big, breathtaking smile, meant to comfort me. Instead, it shattered my heart. I stood up and grabbed my jacket from her chair. "I just remembered I have to meet Nikki to help her with something. I'll call you later. I love you," I pecked her lips and ran out the door, leaving her sitting on the bed looking confused and concerned.

Of course, I had been thinking about joining her on her adventure nonstop. It just hadn't been an option until now because I was never officially invited. Before, I could hide behind the fantasy of what might be. I could imagine the two of us traveling around, only having each other to answer to. She just had to go and invite me and turn my hopes into reality. I should be happy, ecstatic, but I'm so freaking worried. I can say yes and join her, but I'm only prolonging the inevitable. She just made the choice I have to make ten times harder. I hit the steering wheel hard as I drove towards my house. My phone vibrated in my pocket as I pulled up to a stop light. I pulled it out, expecting to see Lena's name, but instead it was Nikki. I opened the text, "Can you pick me up at my place? I need to talk to you." I told her I was on my way and changed my direction. I pulled up to her house, honking the horn. It started raining heavily as she ran out and hopped in the jeep. At least I didn't have to feel bad about lying to Lena saying I was meeting up with Nikki. "Where to?" I asked as I pulled out of her driveway. "Let's just drive around like we used to," she said without looking at me. I drove us around town, waiting for her to say what was on her mind. She had been hiding some stuff for a while, that much has been clear. Still, the only sounds in the car were the slight hum of the engine, the rain hitting the windows and roof, and the music playing softly in the background. I took a road that would drive us further out into the countryside. We used to come on this road all the time when we would steal my parents' cars. She smiled as she seemed to remember old times just as I was. "What's on your mind Nik?" I figured I would get the ball rolling as she was struggling to find confidence. "Hmm? Oh... um, I've been meaning to talk to you for a couple of months now, I just never seem to get the chance to speak to you alone anymore. Not that I'm complaining. I love Lena, even if she doesn't like me." I snorted, "She likes you, but you are kinda a pain in her ass." "Yeah, I know," she chuckled. She was quiet for a few more minutes and I let her be as I could see her trying to build the courage to say whatever it was she needed to say. "Not too long ago, you said we're sisters. Hearing you say that made me so happy because I've always felt that way too. You've been my person for so long and you always will be. I give you a hard time sometimes, but I want what's best for you and I want you to be happy." "Nikki, I know all of this already. What's going on?" She was starting to freak me out just a little bit. "I just really want you to know that I would never hurt you, intentionally I mean. And I will always put your feelings first, above anyone else's." She was fidgeting with her hands in her lap, something I've never seen from my strong, cocky best friend. I turned right and stopped the jeep on a little dirt path right off the side of the road. I turned to look at her, "You can tell me anything, Nik. Nothing will change how I feel about you." She visibly gulped, "I've been talking to Logan for the past couple of months. I think I'm in love with him."