Running for My Undead Life

Chapter 24: The Past Seven Years

A week and a half has officially passed since Lena left and I don't think she's coming back. I have gone to visit Jas and Nikki every day of the week. It helps keep my mind off her. My biggest worry is that she's lost control. That she did things she won't be able to recover from. Of course, it won't matter to me what she did. After all, it's my fault she ended up this way. If she comes back, I'll welcome her with open arms, and I will do everything I can to help her come to terms with whatever has happened since she left.

Nikki whined while lying in my arms. She had just fallen asleep but started to stir a bit right as a foul smell hit my nose. "Jas it pooped!" I yelled out, holding Nikki more at arm's length, though I made sure to cradle her protectively. "Really Art? It?" Jas entered the room rolling her eyes. I held my breath waiting for her to take the baby. She stood in front of me, arms crossed with her eyebrows raised. I pleaded with my eyes for her take her stinky kid. "Please take her," I finally begged, releasing my breath. She smiled triumphantly as she took Nikki and walked off to the nursery. I gagged silently at the smell; grateful I didn't have to deal with whatever waited in that diaper. My phone dinged while I waited for them to come back. I pulled it out, expecting to see a text from Spencer or Cassie. An unknown number flashed on the screen. The text read, "come to Knotting Hill." My heart picked up in my chest and my breathing quickened. It had to be her. I've never taken anyone else to that forest and it's where we had our first date. I ran to the nursery, flashing Jasmine the text. Her eyes lit up, and she stopped what she was doing to give me a hug. "Go get her," she said to me encouragingly. I had told her a little bit more about the struggles we had gone through, leaving out most of the details of course.

I didn't respond because I couldn't move quick enough to leave the house and get to my car. I sped down the freeway towards the exit I needed to take, praying I wouldn't pass any cops. Luck was on my side as I pulled up to the edge of the forest after some time. My parents' car sat there, empty. I didn't hear or see anything else that hinted at Lena's whereabouts, but I knew where she was. I was a blur as I moved through the woods and made it to the clearing on the small cliff. Her back was turned to me, and she sat with her legs dangling off the ledge. I approached slowly, sitting down next to her with an arm's length between us.

Neither of us spoke for a while, though I was dying to ask her where she had been, what had happened while she was gone. I waited, albeit impatiently, but I waited. After a few more minutes, she didn't speak, but she picked up a good-sized rock and with a flick of her wrist, launched it across the lake. I watched as it landed on a bed of moss in a spot that would've been out of sight for anyone who wasn't us. She finally looked over at me and smiled. She nodded her head towards a rock that was next to me. It was a little bigger than her rock, but I threw it with ease and watched it sail across the lake. It didn't go as far as hers did. Her smile turned into a smirk as she raised her eyebrows at me. I was a little taken aback at her playfulness, but grateful she wasn't beating me to a pulp. "It's just cause you're new," I challenged her smirk and breaking the silence. "Whatever," she shrugged, looking back out to the lake.

"What else have you discovered?" I asked, not able to keep quiet anymore. She shifted her body towards me slightly, "I'm fast, more convincing when there's something I want, I can smell everything, see everything. And I can control my urges." Relief spread through my body at her last words. "I came close, just once, to drinking from someone. I went to a hospital looking for some blood bags to take and somebody was getting a transfusion right there in the ER. But I was able to turn around and leave the room." Her eyes had a sparkle to them as she spoke. I couldn't help but think vampirism looked good on her, though the guilt at her condition still lingered in the back of my mind. "I think I'm going to go back to school in a few months. I need to learn more about this life before I resume parts of my old one. But there are things I want to go back to." "Are there things you don't want to go back to?" I questioned.

Her eyebrows scrunched together, not like she was thinking, but like she was figuring out how to word what she wanted to say. "There's... someone I don't want to go back to," she replied. I didn't have a response to that. One of my worst fears was confirmed, that there was someone else. Even if she wanted to break things off, I obviously fucked up her life in a big way. A lump formed in my throat, and I turned my head away from her discreetly as tears built up in my eyes. My teeth clenched together bracing myself as she continued, "I met Drew my freshman year of college. He was a really good friend at first. Things happened, as they do, and eventually we were dating. He's an amazing person. Probably one of the best people I've ever met. And he wants to marry me." She paused, and my fists clenched in my lap. I kept my head turned, squeezing my eyes shut. She could've had a perfect life with this guy. A life she deserved.

"But I can't marry him. For obvious reasons, now. But I don't think I ever wanted to. Something was missing when I was with him. Something that's been missing with every relationship I've had since you." I tried to wipe the tears from my face without her noticing, but I could feel her gaze. It was unwavering and I knew she wouldn't keep talking until I looked at her. I blinked while looking up a few times, willing the tears away. I chewed my lip as I turned back to her, successfully keeping more tears at bay. Her hand rose towards my face. I thought she was going to wipe the wetness away, but she stopped halfway and let her hand fall. She folded her hands together in her lap and kept talking, "Before Drew, there was Amelia. That was after you left, and I went through some therapy. I didn't believe you ran away. I thought you had hurt yourself. I didn't want to live either. But my therapist brought me back, reinspired me. After a few months, I travelled like I had originally planned to. I went to Europe, Asia, and Africa. I met Ami in Europe and we backpacked together. She asked me to move with her to Norway. And I almost did, but something held me back. I didn't know what it was at the time. But now I think it was you."

My lips trembled as I tried to hold it together. "I'm sorry," I whispered. And I was. For everything. The thought that she might not have lived because of me was gut wrenching. I was proud of her for pulling through. I hated Amelia for making her fall back in love, but I was grateful to her for rebuilding the person I destroyed. "Lena, I thought that I had no choice. If I could go back though, I would change how I did everything. Even if you can forgive me, I don't know if I ever will." Lena scoffed, "You're just as clueless as ever, Artemis. I'm trying to tell you that I can't escape you. As long as you're an option for me, it'll be you."

"I wouldn't call it clueless. More like disbelief. Undeserving. But if you'll have me, I'm yours. That's never changed," I replied. "But you need to know what happened while I was gone too." She nodded in agreement. Despite professing her love for me, she still wasn't moving closer to me or touching me. I just hoped that the distance didn't increase after I told my side of the past seven years. I took a deep breath and thought back to the day I left. "I'm sure you've figured out by now that Cassie left with me. I didn't ask her to, or even want her to, but she's convincing. We spent the first few years hunting the hunters. It was all business, there wasn't time for anything else. It was dangerous. But, at some point things changed between us. We were together for a year or so, until we got split up." I could see her body flinch out of my peripheral. I peeked over at her, and she was sitting straight up, her hands squeezed between her thighs and her eyes were unfocused. I knew this would be the hardest thing for her to digest. Especially with-it being Cassie. I cringed at my own words as I spoke, "It was all sexual. We were together out of pure need and loneliness. After we were split up, I didn't get with anyone else. I was alone until I was captured. Eventually I escaped and that's when I ran into you."

I waited for more reaction from her, but she didn't give me anything. We sat quietly for a little while longer and I started to wonder if she regretted the things she had said before. "Can we take things slow?" she asked, peeking at me through her eyelashes. My heart hammered at the look in her eyes. For the first time since her transition, she let me in. I could see her desire to be with me, but also the vulnerability of her letting me back in, not knowing if I would protect her heart given my track record. "Of course," I responded quietly. She scooted closer to me and leaned her head on my shoulder. We sat there for a few hours until the sun went down, and I basked in the feeling of the tingles her touch sent through my body.