But when you told me the whole story I felt like throwing up

23

Valentina's POV
Their words were getting hard to understand, and soon it was only the four of us in the living room.....at least in my head.

Lilian, Rin, Karin, and I. Only that I was excluded. They talked like they've been friends since forever and I was excluded.
Karin tried to include me in the conversation like the good friend she was, she really did. But I was speechless. This was hell.

If Karin thought that I would still be friends with her after this, she was wrong. And she knew because she would try to include me in the conversation, worry written all over her eyes. An "are you okay please say something. Please fake a smile and personality like Orochimaru-sama thought you" look in her eyes every time we made eye contact. But how could I fake a conversation with the women who stole the two men I've ever loved in my entire life.

And I couldn't ignore the elephant in the room. Rin.
Rin was pregnant by one of the men who I loved. Who I loved for years after he died. And now that I'm supposedly "dead" he gets another girl pregnant.

I forced a smile and asked to go to the restroom, but tears quickly escaped my eyes as I walked to my destination, grabbing a kitchen knife on my way there. And by the time I was inside the bathroom I dropped to my knees and was full on crying.

Everyone was at the party so nobody would hear me. Nobody would miss me. I should just die. Everyone is living their dream life in this reality. And me? I always have to finish last.
Is this how life repays me after taking care of Itachi's daughter? For killing his wife in another reality? After loving Obito 12 years after his death?

"Why are you crying?"

I quickly looked up and met with Itachi's daughter eyes.

I quickly hid the kitchen knife behind my back and cleaned my tears.

"Honey, what are you doing here? Does your mom know you're here?" My eyes travelled to the half opened bathroom door. Hoping Itachi's wife and Rin weren't peeking in because I had no idea what excuse to give for crying.

"No. I came here to look for you because you were taking long."

I didn't know what to say. Itachi's daughter was always the nicest child. It's incredible how I never developed mother's instinct when I had the opportunity to raise her. I still don't feel anything.

"Why are you sad?" She asked as she tilted her head in curiosity. "Everyone is happy celebrating my daddy's birthday party and you're here crying.  Don't you get along with mommy and daddy?"

"I do." A smiled formed on my face as I remembered all the time I spent with Itachi. How we even shared a bed during those cold December nights. How we loved each other. It was forbidden to be in a relationship in the Akatsuki, and Obito would of hated the thought of me and Itachi.
But Itachi and me. We loved each other.
"I knew your dad when we were younger, years ago. We got along so well that he gave me this." I told the girl as I showed her Itachi's Akatsuki ring. The ring he gave me years ago when he told me he loved me.

"Wow so pretty!!" Itachi's daughter exclaimed as she stare at the ring.
As I looked at his daughter I realized that I felt....absolutely nothing for her. No mother instinct.
But I loved her father.

Am I really this horrible of a person?
But I can try to develop a mother's instinct, if it means having a life with Itachi.