Death is not the end

17. He has got to go

Finn
Finn Collins (is that Finns surname idk)

Shock took over me, when I finally realized I pulled away. I could feel the eyes that had appeared and were staring at me, I could feel Raven's confusion, Octavia who had now returned in the room with the guards shocked and most importantly the one that affected me the most I felt Lexa, I felt her hurt and her confusion mixed with frustration.

"Finn" was all I could get out.  Somehow I felt uncomfortable as if he had invaded my personal space and took advantage of me. The butterflies only got worse and I was still in shock.

"It is me princess" he took my face into his hands "I never thought I would see you again" I could only stare. What was I supposed to say. I could feel the emptiness in the room and knew Lexa and her guards had left. My heart sunk I never once told him to back off or increased the distance between us although i wanted to, i wanted him to take a step back, to not touch me, talk to me from a distance but I froze. I froze and said nothing.

Without thinking twice I left. I walked out and without knowing it my feet took me to the one person that I wanted to kiss me the one whose lips mine demanded, craved for. I got to the tent and there she stood going over papers trying to busy herself with them I couldn't help but feel guilty for the kiss I had no way of knowing.

This was Bellamy's plan all along he knew who was in that pod and he hadn't even given me the slightest clue that it could have been him.

"Are you just going to stand there or are you going to enter." Lexa's voice snapped me out of my thoughts and I walked up to her.

"Lexa I didn't know" before I could finished she looked down to the papers and muttered a simple 'I know'. My heart broke a little more. The silence in the room was draining and killing me.

"Clarke" Lexa's head shot up again but something was different about her, the way she said my name the way she looked at me, something didn't seem right. My heart started racing and my palms became sweetly. Why was I so anxious. "I think it be best we keep our relationship professional( I know that word doesn't fit but I couldn't think of another one)."

I felt light headed "What"

"We had our fun and games but I think we should go back to being serious. This was fun but" I couldn't even properly register what she had said. Did she think of me as a toy she could just pick up and play with whenever she wanted to. No. Not my Lexa. She would never.

"Lexa" my voice cracked a little but what broke my heart completely was the look on her face when she stared at me. It made me feel weak, small and not worthy. She used to look at me with so much love in her eyes but now...they I don't know.

"Now if you will excuse yourself I have maps to go over" My body and mind disconnected my body moved me out of the tent and my mind was playing her words over and over again. Did she really think...wait what even just happened.

When I looked up again I was in the tent I shared some nights with Raven and Madi. I felt drained, my body felt numb and my head was spinning, my heart racing as if it were on adrenaline x1000. I could not process anything properly. Finn was alive and Lexa...I felt the tears pulling up.

I heard my name being called but as a whisper and my mind drifting off. Why would she. Yes Finn kissed me, he kissed me not me him and since when had Lexa...but why would.

"Clarke" Raven pulled me out of my own mind I hadn't even noticed everyone in the tent"you okay" I just gave a small nod and got up and headed out of the tent. I needed to get away, I need fresh air and importantly I need space.

Lexa's POV

I watched as Clarke left and once she was gone the flood gates came. My heart was scattered all over the place. When Finn has kissed her reality didn't take its time to kick in and I knew how it would end.

Just the thought of Clarke falling and loving someone else broke me...but I am Heda. I wiped the tears falling from my face and pulled myself together. Titus was right love is weakness, if I hadn't fallen for Clarke her people would of known where they stand with me and if I hadn't fallen for her I would of never run into her room hoping to see her one last time and convince her to stay then I wouldn't of been shot.

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Not Lexa going cold on Clarke‼️Sorry for my spelling didn't prof read it and the short chapter.

This book is on it's way to the end, I am not so sure of how much chapters are left but all I can say it is no more than 10( it can be because I pre-wright my books I just don't put them in chapters).

Anygay😊🏳️‍🌈

Thanks for reading 📖 hope you enjoyed feel free to comment  unless you have something negative to say tho your consrictive criticism is appreciated 😊