Almost Is Never Enough -Hariana Fanfic-

Chapter 18

Harry's P.O.V
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I walked out of the room, I needed some fresh air. I needed to think about what the fuck I just did. I know it was sudden, but I didn't care. I couldn't stand keeping it from her any longer. I tried to, but when I saw Nathan pretending to care about her, something inside of me snapped. He didn't deserve her. She's too good for him. I'd be a hypocrite if I said I deserved her anymore than he did, because I don't. I'm not good enough, but honestly, I don't think anyone is. She is too fucking amazing to consider being good enough for. I don't care if I deserve her or not, I love her. I've loved her all this time and nothing has changed that. Four years and I do not find any other girl's smile more beautiful, any one's laugh more adorable, anyone else that can top Ariana. I pondered over telling her as I picked up trash from the floor, and then thought 'What do I have to lose?' The worst thing I've lost was her, so I'm practically invincible now, I reasoned. Everything has just spiraled out of control. I don't just mean today, I mean these past four years. The constant pain of being without her by my side and now that I finally have her by my side, she's dating some other prick. I want to scream. Fuck everything and everyone and happiness. Fuck it all because none of that exists without her. I have had to live off of memories of her these past few years to keep me going. I know it's fucking stupid, but sometimes I pretended that she was there with me. That's how I got through. I need her. She's everything I could ever look for in a girl and she is the one. If I lose her now, that's it. I'm done trying to find someone else to take her place because that will never happen, so why pretend? Why live off of a lie? I was done holding back all of my feelings because of fear, fear of being rejected. Whatever she says after what I've said will change everything. My life will transform into another because of four simple words: I love you too or I don't love you. She's the catalyst this time.

Flashback
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Ariana and I were lying on the couch. Her legs were over mine but her left leg was lifted at an angle to fit between the space of mine. Her red hair was sprawled all over her back and a few strands framed her face. The top of her head was at the crook of my neck. I pressed my lips to her hair. Instantly, the scent of coconut that I loved filled my senses. I smiled. She lifted her head and kissed me, softly, lightly, and gently. She pulled away and smiled, then she looked as if she was deeply in thought. I knew this because she would bring her bottom lip into her mouth. I gently pulled her lip from her mouth with my thumb. She sat up into a cross-cross position on my legs.

"What's wrong, love?"

She sighed and hesitated before telling me what was on her mind. "Do you ever just think about the future. About us. ." She glances at me, seemingly to see if I was creeped out by where this conversation would inevitably lead to, then continued, "Like. . ." She paused, not sure of herself, "Do you see a future with me?" She cringed at herself and I smiled.

I tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "Of course I see a future with you, baby."

She looks down, "I don't just mean it like a future meaning a couple of years . .I mean . . .I-just forget it." She babbled.

"You can tell me, Ariana. I promise I won't get creeped out."

She looked at me with doubt, her bottom lip, once again, in her mouth. "Pinky promise?" She held out her pinky and for a second, though it was stupid, I admired how she always painted her nails in a light pink shade. I chuckled at her childish request, but wrapped my pinky around hers anyway. "Promise." I told her.

So she told me: "Lately, I've just been thinking about us like crazy. Things like where we'll go after we graduate and if we'll be able to tackle one of those long-distance things, I mean, it's not like I don't trust you, I do, I just, I want us to work and it hasn't just been college. I've been thinking of everything, you know? What if we actually made it? All the way through and we end up like Allie and Noah from the Notebook, dying in each other's arms all wrinkly and old and accomplished, lots and lots of memories, a family?" She smiles at the thought before continuing, "I can't help but wonder if it could happen. Us forever. Remember on New Years when you told me that your wish was forever? Well, I've been stuck on thinking about our little forever for days, and I felt like I needed to tell you."