Almost Is Never Enough -Hariana Fanfic-

Chapter 16

Ariana's P.O.V

I sat on my bed in the hotel Gemma and I shared, bored. Gemma has gone out with Anne to get some breakfast for us. It has only been five minutes, yet I'm already missing her laughable laugh. I have altered and shifted positions on my bed continuously. From having my feet in the air and my back on the mattress, to having my feet dangle from the bed, to resting them on the headboard and many others. Something suddenly occurred to me. I removed my legs from the top of the headboard and got off, walking over to my suitcase and pulling out the small box that I take with me everywhere. I opened the box and carefully removed the bracelet from the cotton and stared at it admiringly. My good luck charm. I hadn't worn it in ages. I forgot about it completely. My fingers traced the lettering on it. 'Forever Mine'. A smile involuntarily appeared on my face as I placed it on my wrist. The bracelet Harry had given me still holds its meaning in my heart. A part of me is always going to be his forever, I'm not denying it. He was my first love, and we'll both carry a piece of each other wherever we go, even if we believe we are completely over our past love, it travels with us. A nagging voice at the back of our minds will always somehow compare our first love to our next, simply because we think our first love was more special. In a way, it was. It is. It always will be. But our last love is what really matters. That's the person you'll share your last kiss with, your last smile, you last laugh, the last minutes of your life. The thought clenches at my heart strings and I think of Nathan. I don't know if he's the one. When I'm with him, I know I love him. I do. But compared to Harry, I feel nothing. No spark. No fire. Nothing. My heart doesn't ache for him. My smile doesn't rely on him. And my world doesn't revolve because of him. I may be over Harry or I may not, but whatever the case may be, I truly believed he was the one. I know I was young, and I was stupid, but I was in love. At the age of fifteen my thoughts wandered to my future self walking down the isle, a pure white gown, my father's arm secured with mine, a bouquet of flowers in my other hand, and waiting for me at the altar was Harry and his resplendent green eyes, and agonizingly beautiful smile, curls framing his face to complete the perfect groom. Of course I didn't forget those perfectly pink lips, which I would kiss afterwards. I tried to convince myself that it would happen, that we would happen. But life turns and rips up your dreams, replacing the reality that you wish for, for a reality that it pleases. My heart has ached for too long. Harry just came back into my life in the most abrupt and sudden way possible. I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready because I knew that my feelings were going to be a bitch, and kick in. Sometimes, even when you are convinced you are over someone, the second that you see them again, you go 'Damn, I'm not even close'. If there is anyone I'm grateful to have, it's Nathan, because he has loved me unconditionally, even when I'm touring with his biggest rival. Thoughts and ideas continued to pile up in my mind, as I continued to overthink, which is all I've seemed to be doing these past four years. So, I picked up a pen and paper, and decided to transfer my feelings onto paper. I tried humming different pitches and keys to find the right rhythm, and when I finally did, I felt satisfied. I scribbled the lyrics onto the paper before I forgot it and kept singing it quietly to myself. The bracelet on my wrist was like an inspiration for my song due to the memories behind it.

"Hey baby even though I hate ya.
I wanna love ya
I want you.
And even though I can't forgive you
I really want ta
I want you.

Tell me, tell me baby
Why can't you leave me?
Cause even though I shouldn't want it
I gotta have it
I want you.

Head in the clouds
Got no weight on my shoulders
I should be wiser
And realize that I've got

One less problem without ya."

I smiled and continued to write. Song after song. I came up with another that I was also happy with.
"Now that it's over
I just wanna break your heart right back
Right back
Want you to cry me a river
I just want to break your heart right back
Hey, all this time, I was blind running 'round telling everybody
My baby loves me
My baby loves me
My baby
My baby
My baby loves me
You said I was your best, would be your last
Now he's gone, you're alone
Don't want you back
You're tellin' me you're sorry
Well sorry, my friend
'Cause I've already been there done that
Ain't doin' this again
No."

I heard a light knock on the door and put rushed to put away my lyric book in my suitcase. Gemma came in, even though I hadn't said anything. I'd already stuffed the book under my clothes though.

"Hey!" I called out over-enthusiastically, cringing at myself.

"Hi." She replied wearily. "Breakfast is outside on the picnic tables."

"Okay." I said, walking around mindlessly, attempting to look busy.

Gemma looked at me as if I had officially lost my shit.
"I heard you singing, sounds good." She said while reaching into her own suitcase pulling out a sweater.

My head snapped up at this, giving me a whiplash. I shut my eyes tight and massaged the area, willing the pain to go away.

"You okay, Ari?" Her eyes looked up at me, a concerned expression on her face.

"Yeah. Whiplash."

"Ah, hate those. Hey is this sweater appropriate for breakfast-casual?" She asked, lifting it up to her frame.

"Yeah, it's perfect."

"Are you going like that, Ari? Not judging or anything, just wondering if I'm holding you up."

"No, no-I mean, I'm going to put on a sweater and change into my jeans."

"Kay."

I walked, as if in hypnosis to my suitcase, careful not to take out the notebook, and then went to the bathroom to freshen up, clothes in hand.

When I returned from the bathroom, Gemma was already dressed and brushing her hair.

She turned around and smiled. "Love your outfit."

"Thanks, Gem."

She nodded and looped her arm in mine, leading us out the door.

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When we got to the picnic tables, the boys were already sitting and hogging up most of the seats. Harry was lying on Niall's lap. His long-ass 5'11 body taking up the length of the seat. I stopped short when I saw this, mentally contemplating sitting on his face or not. He opened one eye and peered up at me raising my eyebrows and blinking slowly, hoping he'd getting the memo. A smirk pulled up at his lips, indicating he knew what I was pissing about. He closed his eye again and pretended not to have seen me, that stupid cocky smirk plastered on his stupid handsome face.
I simply turned to Gemma and said, "Gemma, there's a huge pile of shit here on the picnic table seat."out loud.
Harry started laughing, his eyes still closed. Niall cackled, throwing his head back. The other boys were too engrossed in choosing their breakfast foods. Gemma made her way over to me, looked down at the seat and blinked. She took one long stride, put her arms out, and shoved him off of the seat. She removed make-believe dust from her hands. "There." She said smugly. Harry was on the floor grumbling and cursing at Gemma under his breath, a hint of a smile on his face. He rose up, clearly going bat-shit blind at the intensity of the sun, and banged his head against the top of the table.
I looked down as he rubbed it and he was grimacing. "Don't worry, it was empty anyway." I said in monotone, fighting my smile. He looked up at me, smiling.
"You're so kind." I smiled this time.
"Very." I replied, and winked. I picked up a plastic plate from the table and walked over to the assortments of food. Harry followed behind, and I drew my lips in a tight line in order to not look amused. I was just about to reach for the last bagel when his hand collided with mine. I glared at him and his smirk, that seemed to be etched permanently onto his face. "Not this time, princess."
I rolled my eyes, "What a gentleman, Styles."
He winked, mimicking my wink.
I elbowed him out of the way, and he elbowed me back. "Let me have it, dipshit." I muttered.
He scowled, "You don't dip bagels in shit.
"Very funny." I grumbled.
"Very." He continued mimicking me.
I removed my hand from the bagel plate.
"Fine, have it." I sighed in defeat. He smirk grew as his hand dove for the remaining bagel."
I turned to the plate with the muffins and caught a glimpse of his butt.
"Your ass is covered in dust." He rolled his eyes. "No, I'm serious, you look like a powdered donut."
He twisted his body in the most comical way imaginable to be able to see his butt, and when he saw that I wasn't lying, he started to smack the dust off in the funniest looking way.
"Elegant." I mumbled, not being able to resist myself and my sarcastic comments.
"Heard you."
I could practically here the scowl in his voice.
"It was intended." I replied as I walked back to our families sitting on the tables.

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Hey guys! Here's a little Hariana for you all 😏.
A lot of you wanted me to update, so I did. I hope you liked this chapter!
Read/comment/and vote!
(Yes, they have a concert that same day, but I don't feel the need to write about each and everyone of their concerts). :)
Much love,
X
{Not Edited}