My Wedding Planner [BRIGHTWIN]

chapter 10

When Tine wakes up, it's already nine in the morning and his head feels like spinning. He sees his friends lying on the sofa or on the floor, he doesn't really care right now. Last night, they had drunk too much and slept too late. Luckily, the grooms' parents had gone to perform traditional ceremony  at a temple two kilometres from the resort. They must have come back early in the morning. Tine grunts and rushes towards washroom. For somebody who does not want to get married, Tine thinks he's celebrating too much. The grumpiness only increases as the day unfolds when Tine cannot find Sarawat at the resort. He doesn't even join them for lunch as he does when grandma or mae force him to come eat with them.

He does not want to ask anybody about him because he feels conscious. He doesn't know why. He just cannot trust his face when Sarawat's name escapes from his mouth. He wants to curse the saraleo when his phone buzzes.

I had to return for some work. See you at night.

Tine tries to hide his smile as he reads Sarawat's text. He doesn't feel like just a client to Sarawat and it excites him. He imagines Sarawat's face when he must have texted him because he missed Tine and knew that Tine must be looking for him. It blooms flowers in Tine's chest and he feels ticklish. His brain also reminds him that they are supposed to be cool now and cool meant anything but getting those bizzare feelings again. Tine decides he wants to avoid those stupid brain messeges. He's good at avoiding, after all.

...

"You look wonderful" Earth says and kisses Tine.

"You look nice too" Tine says, avoiding the phone that is buzzing in his hands. He knows he should have left the phone in his room because Pear and Fong won't let him breathe peacefully throughout the date but he also knows that deep down, he expects Sarawat's messeges to tell him he has come.

"This place is really nice" Tine says after they are done with ordering the food.

"I'm glad you like it" Earth says.

Tine breathes in sharply before smiling. He recalls how Pear was certain that Earth won't do anything like this without an agenda. However, Tine starts to think that may be Earth is genuinely being romantic now that the wedding is only two days away. He isn't sure if he likes it. May be, he's touched. But does he like it? Tine doesn't know. All he thinks of is what Sarawat must be doing now.

"To our new journey together." Earth raises a toast and Tine smiles.

Why does the word together sound scary if it's not used by Sarawat, he wonders.

Tine drinks water as the uneasiness cradles him and leaves him overwhelmed. He is in the process of realising what is happening to him. He thought his feelings for Sarawat had gone away. He corrects himself, there was no feeling to begin with. Just a tad attraction and a lot of gravity towards one another because of an awkwardness they both wanted to face. But they have faced the awkwardness now and they are back to being normal again. So why does Tine not feel like normal? The normal Tine would look at Earth and feel great unhappiness because of a marriage he doesn't want. The normal Tine would convince himself he would gradually fall in love with his husband who will fall in love with him too. This Tine feels suffocated. This Tine feels cheated. This Tine knows marrying Earth would cost him more than he has calculated within six months. This Tine feels his heart is shattering into pieces. This Tine might fall in love with his husband too. But this Tine doesn't want to. He doesn't want to fall for Earth because he knows he already has fallen for someone else. 

He realises that this is what his normal self has become ever since he met Sarawat- a Tine who finally found the most thrilling thing that has ever happened to him.