Mornings here in his hometown always come with pleasant surprises. Today it's the rain that came pouring in abruptly and left behind some invigorating trails here and there making Gun a little bit more of a romantic than he already is. The subject of his interest however is not with him here but it doesn't matter because Gun resorts to breathe in the fresh air after rain and starts contemplating about the beauty of this sleeping town that lies before him.
He treads carefully because he is still awestruck by the glistening rain droplets splattered all over the open balcony space. For once Gun thinks he can fall into this delusion of a domestic warmth and family life. The feeling that he has a home- a real home, friends and a person he loves.
This morning it had been specially wonderful, waking up in his love's arms, taking a few seconds to study his peaceful sleeping face and stealing a small kiss. Not a real kiss. Just a ghost kiss, lips hovering over each other. He felt a little silly after that so he had to tiptoe away only to be confronted with Arm and Tay who generously left the care of both Off and the coffee house in his hands. In their words, they have their own personal business to attend to rather than babysitting Off. Gun knows it is the other way around, that Off is the one to take care of him.
A gentle tap on the glass door gets his attention. Off is standing on the other side of the door and saying something. His voice is muted that Gun can not clearly understand what is being said but it's amusing. He can pretty much guess, given Off's sense of caring and protectiveness, that Off now wants him indoors sheltered from cold and rain.
Gun feels a little bit mischievous seeing Off trying to coax him in.
He lets his hand glide along the glass surface following the outline of Off's profile and finally let it rest upon Off's hand which lay pressed on the glass. Though the warmth of their caresses do not get transferred through this glass medium, the mere exercise feels intimately close enough. It's not the first time he felt the urge to throw himself into fey abandon and claim Off's soul with his own. What they have now is precious, Gun knows better than to throw that away by surrendering to recklessness. But what they could have would be precious too and working towards such a goal is worth a try.
He knows by now Off will give him anything he wants. With how he completely surrenders with a simple gesture as a pout from Gun's side, it's no longer that surprising. He gives everything except what Gun actually wants from him.
The irony of it is a laughable affair. He simply wants Off to surrender willingly, on his own because of love and not because of his sense of over-protectiveness. Off veils himself behind that over-protectiveness as if he's trying to guard Gun from whatever he thinks would derail Gun's present and future. As if he is some sort of a sentenced convict serving his term of life imprisonment here in exile with only his mistakes as a baggage over his shoulders. In one way it's even apt to say that Off is imprisoned by his past and those past experiences have given birth to a trepidation that something would inevitably go wrong in the future. It's such a reckless and dangerous way to punish oneself.
But Off has given him some hope too. Because Off in one way or the other has shown his desire to break free from that past and embrace the present, it's right there written all over his face and even if he puts thousands of masks over his face, his eyes would still betray him. That desire is in the way he is looking at Gun now from behind the glass door that separates the balcony from the house.
Gun has only started with his teasing and Off looks more baffled and awkwardly stoned that he doesn't even withdraw his hand away.
Gun takes it as an invitation to explore more. He takes his free hand and presses a kiss to his own thumb without taking his gaze away from Off's eyes. He places that very same thumb on the glass surface just where he can see Off's forehead. Then on Off's eyes, nose and lips, punctuating each touch with a breathtaking pause. It feels to him like he is tracing raw desire with his mere thumb and molding it into something stronger and irresistible. He doesn't miss how Off's eyes widen and how his gaze turns somewhat dark as if complex emotions are gradually taking control of him.
What if there's no glass barrier between us? Gun can't help but wonder. Because here is a man who wouldn't think twice before touching Gun's lips in the pretext of wiping a coffee stain as if he had zero concern for the audience that stood witness. Now they are alone, his only limitation seem to be this glass barrier. And Gun has this brilliant idea of removing that barrier by sliding open the door.
Before he could implement his plan he notices Off's free hand on the latch of the door. It makes Gun blush thinking how nice it is for both of them to be on the same page for once. And then after a beat when he sees Off, he can only smile sheepishly because that dark intense gaze is still there. Perhaps that dark penetrating gaze will remain as an afterimage in his memory, for days to come, for months to come fueling his imagination.
But Off seems to realize the intensity of the setting they have stumbled into, and decides to desert his smoldering desire like the spoilsport he is. More to Gun's disappointment, Off is back to his normal self, wearing an expression of sheer panic like a student caught in the act of cheating on an exam and it seems to Gun that he has smothered the flame before it started consuming him completely. He makes a poor attempt at saving his face by saying something. Somehow even through his disappointment, Gun could gather the words. But Off thinks otherwise and he is still pointing at the latch and mouthing the words ''needs repair'' a couple of times.
Repair. That is the golden word that seizes Gun's mind. He'll need all those miracles to be performed to get Off to let him in through this glass barrier that he has put up between them. Gun can only wish.
But for now, Gun lets his head rest on the glass door and whispers,
"Take me somewhere with you. Only the two of us.''
......................................................................
A/N - Gun is such a tease. 🙃
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Rain to Sea
Hayran KurguGun is dealing with the grief of his sister, Emma's untimely death and in this process he discovers one of her guarded secrets that turns his life upside down. Off, on the other hand, is very much absorbed in grief. The guilt of losing his childho...
