The Way You Broke Me /on hold

What I miss the most about us/un edited

~Alexandria~

"You know what I miss the most about being with you?" Lucifer asked while taking sitting me down on the countertop and taking out my makeout wipes.

"What?" I ask with my eyes half-closed. I haven't slept at all since all of this happened, since Lucifer left and I was all alone again. I was scared to fall asleep, and still am.

"Having long conversations at two a.m. when trying not to fall asleep and thinking about how your breath feels on my bare chest while having my hand tangled up in your hair witch always smelled like lemongrass." He gently takes my face in his hand and starts to remove all of my makeup. I try to do it myself but he pushes my hand back and continues to do what he did.

"I miss eating chocolate cake with a spoon while watching the sunrise on the roof and laughing our fucking asses off about random shit" I open my eyes to look at him and see a smile forming on his plump, pink lips.

"I remember that, we would kiss when we saw the sun fully out" I hum in response and look at all of his sharp features.

His jawline was defined and his piercing eyes held that look that was meant for only me. His nose was a bit crocked from when I broke it, and his lips were a perfect shade of pink.

"I remember when I made you wear pink to school" I smiled sheepishly and he stopped leaning my face for a bit just to look at me with annoyance in his eyes.

"That was not fun" he rolled his eyes and took out another wipe

"Oh come on you loved it, now you have a fully decorated pink office in the house and you like it" He agreed and when he finished he picked me up, bridal style, and started walking towards our room. When I mean our room I meant I slept there.

He changed me into his sweatpants and t-shirt and got in bed with me. His arms wrapped around my waist, holding me close to him, as his face was nuzzled in my black hair. Our legs were tangled and for once I felt fucking easy.

"Im tired," he says. "of pretending like I can't have you anymore"

I wait for him to continue

"and pretending like three years ago my uncle raped you and I didn't believe you" my breath hitched at the mention of that night. So much for easiness. "and pretending like I didn't wait every day for you to come back home, with our daughter in your arms and feel your soft lips again on mine." He takes a deep breath in and so do I fearing what will he say next

"just to realize you weren't, and go on to date Clarice just to get my mind off the fucking wreck state that it was. When it was all normal again I felt like Clarice didn't love me and I didn't love her so we broke up. I waited again and found out that what you said was true. I Waited for someone like you to come into my life and fix me up, make me happy, and love and care for me as you did, but nobody did. "

Yeah because im one of a kind bitch. I thought but didn't want to interrupt him

"So I waited and waited and waited, and then like magic, the twins had to transfer to another school for a job, which also happened to be your school. I was a fucking wreck the day I found out it was your school but I didn't say anything to anyone. When I got a call from your father about the marriage I was skeptical. I wondered if you were going to hate me, or be sad or just hate me and be sad. If you had a boyfriend or another husband, more children, or anything. I knew you weren't going to school for studying, because I was at your graduation, so there had to be a reason why you were there. "

Yup, my fucking best friends.

"I agreed though, and then you came home and yelled at all of us. God, you don't know how happy I was to see you again, hear your voice and just be there with you even if you didn't want to be there with me." His head moves a bit to the side and he kisses it.

"That day I realized how much you actually meant to me. How much I was willing to sacrifice for you and leave behind for you" fuck. This is making me want to go to sleep even more. To just be in his arms, asleep without a care in the world.

"When our daughter died, and I cried beside you, I felt like the right thing was too ill the man who ruined my family in the first place. And I did, and im happy I did it." I just now acknowledged the tears that were silently streaming down my face, and his thumb wiping them off.

"So what im leading to Lex." He took a deep breath in. "Is that I love you and I will keep loving you forever, and never leave your side and stop pretending that I can't have you because I can and I already have don't I?" he asks and I can just feel the hope in his voice.

The seconds of silence felt like hours but I did speak up "you do, you fucking bastard you so fucking do" I say through my clogged nose and with tears sliding down my face and o to my pillow. I feel his lips touch my head again.

"Bien," he whispers "I love you then, and im going to sleep because im also sleep deprived"

I laugh and close my eyes. "You and me both, mi amore. You and me both"