rewrite the stars - jaywon

chapter 7

For the rest of the day, Jungwon couldn't get Sunoo's comments out of his mind. When Sunghoon slung his arm over Jungwon's shoulders, he could only imagine how it'd feel if Jay had done it. Would Jay's arm be heavier, or lighter? Would it be cold enough that Jungwon could feel a chill through his shirt, or would he be overwarm to the touch, from all the electricity coursing throughout his body?

When Jungwon extended his hand for a cashier to scan the credit chip in his wrist, her breath hiked before she looked up at him with a shy smile. And he couldn't help but imagine Jay across from him in her place. Smiling at him, all shy.

It seemed impossible, but Jungwon couldn't stop thinking about it. He bet Jay's smile would be the final nail in his coffin. There'd be no backing out from his crush if Jungwon ever saw it, he was sure.

⭐

By the time Jungwon pulled into the driveway, the sun was already hanging low in the sky. He gazed out of the open garage as he plugged his car in to charge overnight. A few wisps of clouds scuttled by, above the tops of his neighbors towering homes, hazy white spots against a super-saturated rosy sky that faded into red and indigo the further up Jungwon's eyes travelled.

Jungwon wondered if robots ever looked up and noticed the sky, if he'd ever get the chance to ask Jay whether he preferred sunrises or sunsets, if he found either beautiful. Jungwon's eyes slid closed. He doubted that robots could ever find things beautiful-- finding beauty in something would require being moved, having feelings.

"Do you need help with that?"

Jungwon's eyes opened. Jay gestured to the cable Jungwon still held in his hands, poised to plug it into his car's outlet. Jungwon shook his head, amazed at how easy he'd been sidetracked.

"How was your outing with your friends?" Jay asked.

"Are you programmed to ask me that?" Jungwon snorted, walking up to press the button and close the garage door. The door slid down, panel by panel, cutting off the view of the rosy sky beyond.

"Yes," Jay said, simple and honest, but it still served as a sour reminder of a bitter truth.

"Oh," Jungwon said, frowning at himself.

He was being ridiculous-- what was the alternative to Jay being programmed to ask about his day? Jay actually caring? Jay didn't have feelings, he didn't have the capacity to care. Jungwon had to try his best not to forget that.

"I've upset you..." Jay walked over to Jungwon, his movements so smooth and precise. He peered at Jungwon, intensely, his wide eyes piercing and dark. Jungwon was sure that Jay could see every detail about him, even in the dim of the sole garage light.

"Nah, you didn't. My brain's just being stupid. I keep-- thinking of things, things that don't matter. Things that'll never happen. Things that-- God, what am I talking about?" Jungwon felt a hot lick of shame for rambling. He felt his face heat and he turned, facing away from the light,

"Why am I bothering you with this anyways?" Jungwon laughed without humor.

Jungwon sighed. It'd been a long day, between Jake and Heeseung's inane ongoing debates and Sunoo.

Sunoo had been particularly exhausting, with his comments-- his continued, obvious hints that he wanted nothing more than Jay. And Ni-ki was just as blatantly upset about the fact. His regular easygoing attitude was gone, and he'd been quick to snap at anyone and everyone all day. Even Sunghoon hadn't been spared his ire.

"Tell me," Jay's voice was different from how it had sounded, prior. It was softer, tentative.

"What?" Jungwon asked, not quite believing what he was hearing.

"Tell me about the things that are bothering you."

Jay looked so earnest, his brows lifted high beneath his blond hair, his eyes wide and imploring.

"Why?" Jungwon couldn't shake the intruding thought that this might've been another programmed response.

"Because...," Jay paused. It only lasted a split second, but it was long enough not to escape Jungwon's notice, "It'll make you feel better."

The moment felt fragile. Jay was speaking in a soft voice, hesitantly asking Jungwon about what was on his mind. But Jungwon couldn't tell him the truth-- he couldn't confess that Jay himself was what was weighing on his thoughts.

"I can't tell you," Jungwon heard the regret in his voice.

"Oh," the small crease appeared between Jay's brows. It was picked up in sharp relief in the shadows cast by the small light, "Is it about your friends?"

"Yes!" Jungwon seized upon the excuse. He tapped the side of his nose and pointed at Jay, "Got it in one!"

"I see," Jay stared at him with that piercing gaze for a beat longer before he turned away and opened the door for Jungwon to go through.

"Mm-hm. Me and my friends.. we're goin' through some stuff right now," Jungwon might've been exaggerating, a little. Sunoo and Ni-ki would get over their new rift easily enough. They always did.

Grateful for the easy out Jay had gifted him, Jungwon headed through the door and into the kitchen. He was feeling newly enthusiastic to test the limits of Jay's cooking capabilities, inspired by his father's morning omelette frenzy.

Jay followed at his heel, keeping a half-step behind. His voice was low enough that Jungwon nearly missed it when he said,

"I hope, for the sake of your happiness, that you and your friends get over your stuff soon."

Jungwon stumbled as he stepped into the kitchen. He waved Jay off when he started hovering over him, already embarrassed at enough as it was without having to accept Jay's help. Jungwon hadn't even tripped over anything-- he'd just been so startled to discover that, apparently, robots could experience things like hope .

— the end of chapter 7 ♡