rewrite the stars - jaywon

chapter 21

⚠️   content warning   ⚠️

this chapter contains panic attacks.

When Jungwon went back into the living area, he found that most of the party had dissipated in the time he'd spent with Sunghoon. A few stragglers hung behind, engaged in conversation with Beomgyu on the couch. Jungwon bypassed them, going straight for the front door.

"Hey! Jungwon, where are you going? Sunghoon told me you were staying the night," Beomgyu rose from the couch, already making his way over to Jungwon.

"Nope," Jungwon said, simply.

Beomgyu bit his lip, "At least let me call you a cab. I'll wait with you until it arrives."

He moved-- probably to go get his jacket or something, but Jungwon stopped him with a hand on his arm.

"You should go check on Sunghoon. He looked like he was gonna be sick."

Then, Jungwon felt the first sense of calm he'd felt since Sunghoon had first asked him to come forward, into his arms. He said, firmly, "I'm gonna text my friend to pick me up."

Beomgyu's eyes flitted from Jungwon to the entrance of the hallway that led to his room. Jungwon could see he'd gotten him from Beomgyu's brief moment of hesitation.

"Bye, Beomgyu. Thanks for letting me come to your party. It was fun," Jungwon started towards the door. He didn't wait for a response before leaving this time.

Once outside, in the unnatural fluorescent lighting of the apartment complex's winding hallways, Jungwon paused. He took a deep breath, then another. The effect wasn't immediate, but with every breath he found it easier to inhale and exhale. The improvement was incremental, slow, but constant.

Beomgyu's apartment door opened, but before Jungwon had the chance to panic and undo all of his efforts to regulate his breathing, a tall figure stepped out from behind it.

"I'll wait for your friend with you," Yeonjun said. He had an easy smile on his face, "This isn't exactly a bad neighborhood, but there can be a lot of weirdos out at this time of night."

Jungwon didn't know how, but he was able to crack a smile.

"Like you?"

Yeonjun laughed, throwing his head back, "Oof. That hurt. Betrayed by my own son."

Jungwon glanced over his shoulder as Yeonjun led him through the winding maze of the complex's hallways to the elevator. He looked at Beomgyu's apartment door, and spared a thought for Sunghoon, that he'd gotten that desperate, that he'd stooped that far. That maybe he wasn't the flawless, selfless friend Jungwon had thought he was.

⭐

Jungwon hadn't realized how close he felt to bursting out into tears until he laid his eyes on Jay. His face was full of concern, his eyes were taut with worry.

Jungwon took one look and had to look away again, out of fear he wouldn't be able to hold back the sob that was threatening to claw its way up and out of him.

"What's wrong, Jungwon? I've been-- you didn't say in your message."

Jay's voice was soft and as full of concern as his expression, as if Jungwon was so fragile even a normal tone of voice would make him break apart into a million little pieces.