rewrite the stars - jaywon

chapter 40

Outside, the sun had set. It was a clear night. The moon was just barely visible above the city skyscrapers, a bright crescent amidst the few shining stars.

Jay pulled up and stopped as they stepped outside of the engineering building. Jungwon looked back as he noticed Jay's presence missing by his side. He turned a questioning look to Jay, letting the older boys draw ahead without them.

Jay had been acting strange since they'd left the lab. He'd still responded to Jungwon's questions, still asked questions of his own. But he'd seemed-- distant, wrapped up in something internal.

Jungwon had worried, of course he had, wondering if Jay spacing out was some new side effect of the tampering done on his code. But, after pulling Soobin aside and asking him privately, Soobin had assured Jungwon that there shouldn't be any side effects. "Your 'bot's just a weirdo, I guess." Soobin had said, which Jungwon, frankly, couldn't deny.

Jay was smiling, Jungwon delighted to see. He was smiling, up at the sky, expression thoughtful.

"What is it?" Jungwon felt an odd thrill, knowing that Jay would answer him, and would readily share what was on his mind with Jungwon.

Jay turned his eyes, bright by nothing other than the reflection of the night's lights, to Jungwon.

"Did you ever memorize the name of that constellation?"

"What?" Jungwon wasn't sure he'd heard Jay correctly.

Jay pointed up at the stars above their heads, without moving his eyes from Jungwon.

"The constellation-- Felis," Jay's smile went softer, uncertain, "you said you would, right?"

Jungwon stared at Jay, eyes widening. But that had to mean...

"I did. You remember that?"

Jungwon had accepted, back in the lab, that Jay might never remember him. That the most likely outcome was that he'd never be able to recover his memories from before the tampering.

But if Jay remembered Jungwon's promise to learn the name of the stars in the sky, Jungwon wouldn't ever be able to tamp down his hopes of recovering his Jay.

"I'm starting to remember a lot of things," Jay's tone was unreadable, Jungwon realized. There was some of the excitement, some of the same relief Jungwon was overwhelmed with contained in it, but there was something else there too.

Jay took a step closer to Jungwon. In the low lights, he shone.

"What kinds of things?" Jungwon felt his heartbeat accelerate, as Jay drew near.

"You, mostly."

Oh.

"Oh," Jungwon wondered if Jay was just going to keep walking, right up until his shoes brushed up against Jungwon's.

"Jungwon."

Jungwon looked up, into Jay's eyes.

"Yeah?"

"You said that I worked for you... was that all I was to you?" Jay's expression was shy, unsure.

Jungwon bit down on the instant 'No' that hung onto the tip of his tongue, threatening to slip out.

"What do you mean?" Jungwon asked, instead.

Jay might have been talking about anything, "You-- we're friends, if that's what you're asking. You teased me, constantly."

Jay tilted his head back and laughed. Jungwon thought, nonsensically, that it was his first laugh after waking up. Jay's second first laugh.

"From what I can remember, the teasing was mutual," Jay looked at him straight on, "But, no, Jungwon. That's not what I meant."

Jungwon's mind leapt immediately-- not to what they had been before, but what he had selfishly wanted them to be. But, Jungwon thought, Jay couldn't have been talking about that, could he?

"'Friend' doesn't explain what I felt from the moment I opened my eyes and saw you in front of me. Why, with every memory of you that comes back, the feeling's only getting stronger," Jay said, simply, "It feels like...," Jay paused. For a moment, he looked frustrated, "...Like I'm scared, but I want to be. Does that make any sense?"

Jungwon felt like he'd been punched in the gut.

"I scare you?"

"Wait, no! You don't-- that's not what I was trying to say," Jay's eyes widened. He sucked in his lower lip, and Jungwon's eyes followed the movement almost of their own accord, "I'm sorry. I'm not very good at this."

Jungwon dragged his gaze from Jay's lips to Jay's eyes.

Jay was struggling, growing increasingly frustrated-- not with Jungwon, but with himself.

Jungwon recalled a conversation permeated with the smell of freshly mown grass, the heat of the afternoon sun.

"You're doing fine. You're just new to it, right?," Jungwon reassured him, as best he could without knowing what was afflicting Jay.

He raised his hand, hesitated, then settled it on Jay's shoulder. Jungwon tried to focus not on how Jay felt beneath his touch, how warm he was. Rather, he tried to focus on exuding comfort and patience.

He didn't mind making the older boys wait a bit. He was sure they'd understand. At that moment, he was focused on making sure Jay had the time to get out what he was struggling to say.

Jay's eyes dropped to Jungwon's hand on his shoulder, before flitting back. There was a glint in his eye, a shine wholly unrelated to the lights within them.

"Jungwon," There was a steadiness in Jay's voice that hadn't been present before.

Jungwon shivered, to hear it.

"I was worried before, I think. I could map out a million possibilities but I still couldn't ever be sure how you'd react. Fear, anger, disgust," Jay shook his head, "But I should've known better. You've never treated me with anything but kindness."

"I-- before? What are you talking about?"

Jungwon felt his cheeks heat. He was partially pleased at Jay complimenting him, partially incensed that, again, Jay thought of Jungwon's decent treatment as something noteworthy.

"I like you." Jay said, voice earnest and sure.

Jungwon nearly stopped breathing, "I like you more than I should, Jungwon. And I still don't know what happened, why the last few days are a dark blur, but it doesn't matter, does it? I woke up, and before I could remember a single thing, I remembered you."

"You like me..." Jungwon repeated, like an idiot. He was dumbstruck.

Jungwon gasped, swallowing a lungful of air as he remembered to breathe. Jay liked him.

A smile started to grow across Jungwon's face.

Jay liked him back.

— the end of chapter 40 ♡

today, i bring you jay's love confession! 🥳

you can tell that jay & jungwon are both flustered lol they're so cute