LOVER |c.t.h|

ONE|Emery|

This chapter will be one of the most triggering so again, be wear of the triggers that I had previously stated :)

Word Count: 1552

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"Can I get a 4 pack of menthol Vuse pods please," I speak to the cashier behind the counter.

"Will that be all?" He asks as he grabs the pack.

"That's it," I smile shyly.

"$25.15 is your total," he says as he slides over the small pack.

I hand my money and grab the box.

Wait, you don't know me? Well hey, I'm Emery Ray Rose. Let me tell you about my life.

I was born in Gold Coast, Australia to my two parents whom you will not meet till later. I'm quite a silent person to people I'm not comfortable with. I've spent a lot of my life in self isolation so I've grown to fear others. I spend my time now writing music and hanging out with my friends. I struggle a lot with my self image, super cliche right? I suffer from self dignosed BDD. I know a lot of people say that doesn't count but if we're being at all honest I'm too scared to go get help about it. A lot of fears come from my family life actually.

My parents are called Angel and Mark Rose. I love my parents but our relationship wasn't really all perfect. The way I would describe it is toxic to put it plainly. My mum and dad have always supported me until it came to mental health, then they would shut down and ignore it. To say I was gaslighted would be sort of an understatement.

My mum understood it but she thought I was over exaggerating all my issues. My dad mainly was in denial. He used to think that I used it as an excuse to get out of things. My dad would ignore my issues and tell me to grow up and stop being lazy. Mum on the other hand would say she'd get me help but then never did. It's years later and I still haven't seen a therapist or doctor about any of my problems because I'm scared and I also don't want to be a pest to anyone.

As a result I've started to lean on my friends a little more. I moved to the states with my best friend of 10 years, Nadia. Nadia and I left home right after school. We were 18 and 17 years old. She is the only person to ever be brutally honest with me about my life and my issues.

"Emery, you should be on meds," she mumbles like she was scared of my reaction.

"For what?" I furrow my brows as we sit at the lunch table.

"Babe, the conversations we've had in the past are worrying me," she picks at her food.

Told you she was honest. I'm ok with that only because it is exactly what I need. Nadia and I have been through it for sure. I love her more than anything or anyone in the world. She's a 5'4 ball of fire. Perfect body, perfect boobs and a face that anyone would kill for. Don't even get me started on her skin, my god her skin.

Then there's Caitlin Summers. Caitlin and I haven't been friends for too long but she is one of my best friends in the world. Caitlin or as the group calls her 'Summers'. Summers is 5'6 and built like every model that walks this earth. Summers is the sweetest person but she isn't honest enough. She always tells me how perfect I am and how much she wants to be me which is really great but I know she's doing it out of pity.

Tatum is Nadia and I's best friend, she's the oldest of us and probably the most immature. Tatum is the one you want to get drunk with and just be around if you want to have a good time. She may also be the hornest. Tatum is like me, super body conscious however, Tatum doesn't let that stop her. Tatum seems to be super confident but I know she's struggling deep down and I feel for her, I really do.