LOVER |c.t.h|

TWO|Emery|

TW: SH and mentions of BDD!!

Word Count: 2663

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Why am I the way I am? I watch my friends get ready like they've had these outfits planned for weeks as I sit on the bed on the verge of tears. Nadia is in a really cute lavender cocktail dress that fits her tightly. Her perfect breasts sit beautifully on her chest. I look over to Ayden who's in a stunning leather trouser with a black top on. Her ass looks fantastic in those pants. Tatum wore a nice classic red dress that brought out her evenly tanned skin tone.

I look at my gorgeous friends all laughing and smiling whilst I feel like I want to crawl into bed and never leave. How am I meant to feel perfect when these are the women I am surrounded by? It's not their fault that they were blessed with the curves of goddesses or given the boobs of a pornstar but I just wish I could look and feel as good as they do.

"You gonna get ready?" Nadia turned over her shoulder to see me sitting in my PJ's on the bed.

In my hand sat the black leather mini skirt and red top that Nadia had picked out for me just moments ago.

"If I can get ready alone then yes," I nod.

"Em, when are you going to just let go?" Tatum says in a sorrowful tone.

"You are literally stunning and I wish you could see yourself the way we do," Ayden adds.

"Give her space guys," Nadia shakes her head at them and walks out.

Thank god for Nadia. I sigh as the door closes, my friends on the opposite side. I stand in front of the big mirror that is placed right by the door. I look at my reflection, baggy sweats that hide my thighs and one of my dad's old college sweatshirts. This is what I look like 90% of the time. Even on stage I'm never in anything that shows too much skin, unless I'm feeling good that day then I'll throw on some shorts and a tank top.

"You can do it Emery, you have a perfectly normal body," I whisper to myself as I look myself up and down.

It's just clothing, just fabric. I grab the hem of the sweater and pull it up and over so I'm just in my sports bra. I look at my stomach and almost feel a tear slip. What the hell is wrong with me? Seriously Emery, pull it the fuck together, no one wants to be friends with a loser. I shake my head and look up at my face to distract myself. I pick out the little freckles that sit sparsely on my nose and cheeks. My freckles are my favorite part about my body. My eyes are just a bland brown with a hint of green in them, almost making them a hazel.

"Emery?" I hear Nadia on the other side. "How's it going babe?"

"Ok," I nod to myself.

I look back down at my pants. Time to take em' off Emery. You can do this, just breathe. It's really simple, just grab the band and rip them off. I close my eyes and do just that. I pull them off and immediately look back at my eyes. Nadia taught me this trick. If I focus on something I like then I won't have time to think about my body changing.

Suddenly the door bursts open and in comes Nadia.

"Nadia," I turn away from her and hear the door close.

"Turn around, please?" She whispers.

"No," I shake my head.

"Look at my eyes Em," she pleads.

"I can't, I just want to go back to bed," I look down at my feet that look really fat right now.

"Emery, I love you, we all love you and we won't look at you any different in a skirt," she says.