❝You're thinking too much, just love me.❞
❝I'm scared to love you,❞ I mumbled under my breath. ❝Attachment is frightening.❞
❝I'm scared too, but I'm willing. I don't know how it feels like to be unconditionally loved by someone. I think that's th...
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Beomgyu~
"Wanna come home with me today?" My girl toy of the month, Nana questioned me. I just shook her off.
"Do I look like I want to?" I rolled my eyes and ignored her. She still thinks we're dating, when I already explained many times that I don't do commitments. I don't even like her at all- not one bit.
"Are you interested in that new boy? He looks hideous!" Nana crossed her arm. "How could a guy look so much like a girl? If he just had long hair, I would never have thought."
"Yeah, I'm interested in making him suffer. That boy is giving me such bad vibes," I huffed under my breath. "Go home by yourself. I still have some things to do."
"I feel like he can destroy you. Physically and emotionally, if he ever wanted to." Leo shrugged, almost earning a punch from me right then and there. Thank goodness Nana left already, because she would have surely flipped if she heard that comment.
"What are you talking about?" My eyebrows furrowed.
"I don't know... he just seems like your type," he giggled and I instantly scoffed. "Actually, no! Correction- he's the opposite of your type, so it makes it more interesting. It's like a little challenge."
"I'm not gay." I didn't even think twice to answer.
"You say that now, best friend!" He patted my shoulder. "If you get your heart broken by him, don't come crying to me. You might be the one suffering at the end."
The fact that most people are expecting me to fall in love with Sohyun makes me want to hate him more.
___________________________
Sohyun~
"How was school?" My mom excitedly asked me while we sat around the dining table. This is the first time in a long time where mom and dad aren't fighting during dinner, so I don't want to ruin it.
"It went pretty well. I even made some new friends!" I completely lied.
"That's great. I'm glad people are being nice to you... I was afraid you'd get bullied for being homeschooled." He sighed in relief.
Right... nobody knows yet that I spent years of my life in my bedroom, only having my mother and father to talk to. It's funny how my parents are scared that they'll bully me because I'm homeschooled, but not over the fact that they can ruin me for being a scam if I ever get exposed.
"It was hard letting you go out there. Your dad and I were so afraid, but now I think we made the right decision!" She almost had tears in her eyes.
Indeed, it was a hard decision for my parents to let me go to school. For years they kept me isolated and locked away from danger, which are people.
⚠️ TW// suicide ⚠️
My brother was a victim of bullying.
His name was Kang Taehyun, and he was a few years older than me. He was a straight A+ student, could do every sport, had many talents- basically, he was the perfect child.
However, high school was a rocky time for him. I was about seven when he started freshman year, as we had a pretty large age gap. All I remember was there was a huge misunderstanding, which caused students to bully and hurt him. He kept silent because he was threatened and was made afraid to speak up.
I ended up losing my brother because of selfish people.
The worst part, it was me who found him. I can still recall every moment and imagery of that painful day.
Now being in his position, I completely understand why he couldn't say anything. It would clearly hurt our parents, and especially now with their broken relationship. I don't want to lose my family- the only thing I have left.
Ever since Taehyun passed, my family has been a wreck. My parents fight and fight; they blamed each other for what happened. They still do.
And ever since my brother passed, I've been his replacement. My parents convinced themselves into thinking that I'm a boy, just to fulfill their emptiness. They don't care that I'm suffering while pretending to be someone I'm not.
If only I could bring my brother back, I would. Life would be so much better.
The only thing I can do now is to make sure I create a different path for myself.
I need to find myself so I can live to be me.
__________________________
I'm lowkey emotionally attached to this book ngl haha
Also, suicide + mental health is a topic that's very important for me to advocate. Please reach out for help if you need it!
