❝You're thinking too much, just love me.❞
❝I'm scared to love you,❞ I mumbled under my breath. ❝Attachment is frightening.❞
❝I'm scared too, but I'm willing. I don't know how it feels like to be unconditionally loved by someone. I think that's th...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Sohyun~
"Why are you home so late?" My mom asked with her arms crossed, first thing when I got home.
"I hanged out with my new friends." I lied to her again.
"You smell like garbage! Where were you hanging out?" She seemed quite annoyed by the stench.
"Just... around the corner," I sighed heavily. "I'll go take a shower now."
I ran up to my bedroom and took my uniform off, placing them into the laundry machine immediately so the smell doesn't resonate any longer. I hopped into the shower and began aggressively scrubbing my skin until it turned slightly red.
Gosh, those students are really getting to me... but I need to stay positive. I'm there for one thing only, and it's to study.
As much as I try to put up a strong front, it honestly really hurts me. It upsets me when people do malicious things to others, especially when they haven't done anything wrong. Now it's happening to me and it's quite painful. It feels lonely.
Being homeschooled, I never had friends or hanged out with people but I've also never felt alone. My parents always made me feel like I had someone.
School makes me feel lonely. No, the people in it do.
I got out of the shower and took a look at myself in the mirror. My eyes are red and swollen from crying. I didn't even know I still have tears left, after crying a shit ton during my lifetime.
Am I really that ugly?
I never thought that way before. I've always thought I looked okay? I'm healthy, I still have hair on my head even though the cut is short; I've never felt the need to get anything done.
Has my eyes always been this big? It's too big, I think. Also, the bridge of my nose has a tiny bump on it? I mean, I guess it helps me look more like a man?
I suddenly got a text on my phone, so I quickly put on some pyjamas before checking it out.
Private Number
Hey there, garbage boy :D
Go away, Beomgyu.
You looked really good with the garbage on you earlier
You think that was funny?
It was hilarious
How did you even get my number?
I have my ways
Tell your friends to stop being so immature.
You guys are so obsessed with me.
Yeah, bc ur fun to play with
I'm not a toy.
You're my toy though
Nobody owns me but myself.
Say that again later when I make you go on your knees
That's a very inappropriate thing to say.
What are you thinking????
I meant you'll be on your knees bc my friends are gonna break ur kneecaps
Ur the weird one
Whatever, it's still wrong in whichever context.
Why do you text like that??
Like what?
So formal, baby boy
You're making me uncomfortable.
You have blocked this number.
What the hell? That Beomgyu guy is literally so creepy.
Thinking back, it's his fault why I'm getting bullied in the first place. If it wasn't for him who started teasing me, the others wouldn't have followed him.
Would it make any difference if I act a little nicer to him? What if I just ignore him?
Why am I even thinking about this right now, when I have a ton of homework pilling up on my desk?
__________________________
Beomgyu~
"Why can't you be more like your sister?" My dad yelled before hitting me. I was caught smoking by one of the teachers while I ditched detention, instantly calling my parents.
"Maybe because I'm not her?" I talked back and received another slap. The impact on the second one was much stronger.
"Stop talking back to your father!" My mom screamed before storming up the stairs.
"You're the biggest mistake of my life." Dad eyed me down before going to follow my mom up their room.
Right, I wasn't even supposed to be here. My parents only wanted one child, but I guess their condom broke the second time and here I am! I didn't ask to be here.
My whole life it's always been my older sister, the "perfect" one. My parents are both surgeons and my sister is a med student who's already doing her residency. They've always compared me to her, despite the huge age gap.
I wasn't always this bad. I was actually an A+ student when I was younger and joined many clubs. In fact, I worked so hard and received many scholarships. I worked so hard, but it wasn't enough. My parents never cared about my achievements, so I gave up.
That feeling when you have no one but yourself.
My whole life, I've felt that.
__________________________
I've actually completed this book already hehe >.< so I've just been editing it, paying extra attention since it is a book with heavier topics. I cried while editing some chapters haha :')
