❝You're thinking too much, just love me.❞
❝I'm scared to love you,❞ I mumbled under my breath. ❝Attachment is frightening.❞
❝I'm scared too, but I'm willing. I don't know how it feels like to be unconditionally loved by someone. I think that's th...
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Beomgyu~
I don't have a plan so I'm most likely just gonna wing it. However, I don't think I can let this day end without proposing to Sohyun. I have the ring, I have the girl, all that is left to do is for me to ask the most important question.
Earlier while getting the guitar from the car, I took the ring box and placed it inside my pocket. I'm still planning on proposing at the train tracks, but I knew it would have been much harder to get the ring by then.
Sohyun just kept clinging onto me, hugging me and keeping herself very close. She's so cuddly and cute today!
Once it got a bit darker outside, we began making our way back to the city where I will then carry out my small plan. She seems quite oblivious of the situation, which makes me relieved.
My heart began to beat out of my chest once we got to the train tracks. To my bad luck, it suddenly started to rain. Screw it... why does something always have to go wrong?
Sohyun smiled as she twirled around the rain, taking my hand and dancing with me while the raindrops fell onto the ground. She wrapped her arms around my shoulders, pulling me down to kiss her.
It felt like our first time allover again.
The butterflies in my stomach, the feeling of belonging and warmth, being wanted... I still feel that every time she kisses me.
It's the perfect time. I have to do it now.
"I know it's quite sudden and probably out of nowhere.... but sunshine, I'm ready to spend my whole life with you and give you and our future children all the love I have to offer," I took the ring out and kneeled down onto the ground. No need to say some long message telling her why. My feelings just need to reach her. "Will you marry me?"
"Beomgyu..." she stepped back and looked down. "I need to tell you something first."
"Go ahead." I stood up and embraced her so she calms down.
"I lied to you... I'm such a bad person," Sohyun's eyes began turning red as she bawled in guilt. "I remember everything. I never had amnesia and only said that to screw you over. I wanted to get revenge."
"What?" My smile faded. "Tell me the whole truth. Now."
"I had this thought... that if I could make you fall for me again, then I could break you. I kept blaming you for what happened, that in return I obtained a toxic mindset." She looked away in embarrassment.
"What else?" I felt my heart break with each word that came out of her month. "Don't leave anything out, Sohyun. Tell me everything."
"After I woke up from that coma, every time I thought of you it felt like I was dying over and over again..." she explained. "At one point I was beginning to hate you more than I loved you."
Honestly, it's not like I can blame her for doing what she did. I deserved it, but at the same time I've lived hard enough. I don't even know if I have the right to be angry.
"I understand where you're coming from, I was hurting too... I also loved you like crazy, that's why I've done what I did. They were blackmailing me. They said they were going to harm you if I didn't abide to them. I was gonna tell you, but it was too late." I finally told her the things I've been wanting to say for years. It just bursted out.
"Just... why the hell would you make that decision for me? I would have took it either way, as long as I could have you. I'd rather be humiliated than left alone by the person I loved so much. That was the shit that hurt me so much, Beomgyu... I trusted you and you broke it. You broke me."
"I was a coward, I admit that I was scared for myself too. I was scared I'd lose you, but I didn't know I was going to either way."
The past ten years, all I've done was blame myself. The people around me also had to carry the burden of seeing me hate myself. Although, that never changed the one thing that I was certain about. The one thing as to why I did everything I've done.
It's because I love her.
"I never stopped loving you, Sohyun."
"And you think I have?"
____________________________
Sohyun~
"But that was before, Beomgyu. That was my thought process before I got to know the new you..." I put his hand into mine. "The past few months we've spent together, I saw how much you've changed. The answers to all the questions I had, they've already been answered. My heart knows what it wants and it's you."
"Why did you only tell me this now?" I could see how much pain he's in right now, making me feel so guilty. "You made a fool out of me. I was genuinely trying to help you remember."
"I know, and I'm so sorry. I didn't tell you because I was scared you'd leave me once more. Never did I expect to fall for you again, but that's exactly what happened... I'm so in love with you, Beomgyu." I confessed.
"I do too, Sohyun. I really do..." Beomgyu took his jacket and wrapped it around me. "I'm disappointed but I'm not mad at you. You had your reasons."
