No one cares || Dnf

8. the good friend

Nick POV

We walked away from the two boys. I put my hand on Clay's back and sometimes slowly rubbed circles on it with my palm.
He looked so down. I didn't exactly know why, but I was about to find that out.
I could see that he suppressed what he felt.

"Are you okay?", I asked carefully.
He didn't answer.
"What's up with that thing with George?"
He didn't answer.
"What happened?", I asked again while we walked home together.
"I- I don't know dude", Clay said, looking away from me, "I don't wanna hurt him anymore I guess."
"What happened between you two?"
No answer.

"You know you can tell me everything", I sighed.
"It's nothing!", he eventually said. "I-I'm so confused..."
"Do you like him?"
"NO!" he stopped and looked at me disgusted, but that expression changed very quickly.
Now he looked a bit sad.
"I- I guess I just don't see him the way I used to", he paused for a moment, "but it's weird, I don't know what those feelings are. I wouldn't say that I like him, but there is something, I- I never felt this way before..."

Suddenly he looked really confused. I walked up to him and patted his shoulder softly.
"It's fine", I said calmly before we continued going home. When we arrived at his house, I gave him a huge hug and turned around to go to mine, but Clay wrapped his hands around my waist from behind, cuddled his head in my shoulder and caused me to stop.
"Could you stay a little longer?"
"Of course"

Clay isn't what everyone thinks he is like. Of course he has his bad sides. He could be really bad, but he also has this side that he just showed no one. He is cuddly, dear and also very broken.

He let go of me and opened the door. I came in, took off my shoes and put them where I always put them.

He went over to the couch and sat down, looking tired. I sat down beside him and leaned my head on my hands that were folded behind my head and my arms leaned against the back of the sofa.
"What do you think caused that? I mean, you know him for 2 years now I think and always bullied him, so what could've changed your feelings so fast?", I asked, looking over to him. "I-...You have to know something I guess...", he responded weakly, looking to the ground.

"Yeah, tell me, of course."
"So, you remember that day when I was 'ill' and didn't come to school?" He made that quiff movement with his fingers when he said "ill".
"So, you had beaten him up anyways, right? ....And I came to his house after school that day."
My eyes widened and my eyebrows raised, then I made a confused face.
"Wh-..", I got cut off from him.
"I know you wonder why."
"So?", I asked carefully.

"At first place, you have to know I wasn't ill. I wanted to go to him because...fuck..." he stopped.
I rubbed his back and then patted it.
"...I wanted to do something to him, wanted to get... I mean,....eugh..." I could see that it was really hard to tell what he meant.
"Okay, listen, I have no idea what's going on in my head, I just thought..." I slowly nodded. "I wanted to play a little bit" Now he looked way more confident again, he straightened his back, leaned his head back and slightly looked down to me. That made me feel really fucking short.

Clay could really intimidate you if he only used the right posture and facial expressions. That was scary.
"I wanted to get rid of that strange feeling that I had had for a long time. I was going to hurt him. To hurt him very much. But when I saw him come in the door, beaten to death by you guys, I got scared ... or something."
"Euhm, what?"
"When I looked at him, it was... look, every time we hurt him, for our fun, he gets home weak and injured and completely down. We made his life to hell!", he almost screamed at me.

"Well Clay, you should've thought about that when we started doing that. I just followed you, so did everyone else. It sounds like you hadn't known what you did to him all the time, what the heck did you think you were doing all the time, huh?" It literally made no fucking sense. (It really doesn't, I'm confusing myself, wth)

"Dude, I-I'm so confused because of myself..." Now he sounded insanely depressed. He leaned forward again, propped his head in his hands, and stared at the floor.
"All I can tell from that is that you have either changed a lot, again, or something else must have happened that changed the way you viewed how you deal with George. Take your time and figure it out. Think carefully and please relax! You're incredibly stressed, that's not good for you."

With that I stood up and walked towards the door and put on my shoes.
"Handle these emotions on your own." With that I left the house. I know, very roughly, but he has to do that alone. That was something where I couldn't help him. Clay is a little....complicated.
He didn't try to stop me from leaving. When I was outside, I slowly sneaked around the corner and looked into a window to watch Clay. I wanted to see what he was doing.

He just sat there on the couch and looked like he would really be struggling with his head right now. I couldn't believe that whatever it exactly was, was driving him so crazy.
Now he began to...fucking slap himself a few times before shaking his head. Then he went tranquil.
His face was red because of the blows. He must have punched himself very hard.

He made a weird face while he looked around, then stood up and walked into the kitchen or so. I don't know where exactly. His house was big as fuck, he could have gone everywhere.

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~1.027 words~