fragments of my life [MERDER]

FIVE

After writing her letters, she carefully encased each in an envelope, scribbling the name of the person she wished that they went to before she left them all on the kitchen table. She knew that she could trust April and Jackson, or mostly April, to distribute them for her, on her behalf. Although they weren't close, she would miss them. They'd filled the void that George and Izzie had left.

She'd miss Alex and Cristina more, but not nearly as much as she'd miss Derek.

She left early that morning, two hours after writing her letters, slipping out before anyone had returned from their night shift, and driving straight to the airport, to anxiously wait for her flight.

- + -

Dear April,

You surprise me, in a good way. None of us thought you'd be the one to get chief resident, but you're doing a good job. Believe in yourself more, April. You're not ordinary - you're a superstar. Please don't worry about me, I'll be fine. If Alex gives you grief, ask Cristina to scream at him for you. She's good at that. To anyone that tries to bully you, or say that you don't deserve where you are and what you have, ignore them; they're wrong. Believe in yourself, April, because I do. I believe you'll shine.

Dear Jackson,

You're the only one who really understood my problems with my mother. I'm glad I had someone like you to speak to about that, and I'm glad you were willing to listen. Please, take care of April. I know you secretly love her Jackson, it's obvious. Don't let Alex taunt her; stand up for the people you love, Jackson. You're both going to be incredible surgeons. As for me? I'll be fine, don't worry about me. Go give 'em hell, Avery.

Dear Mark,

Thank you for everything you did for me, after Derek. Please, look after Lexie for me. She only just got me as a sister and now I'm leaving. Maybe she'll be upset, maybe she'll hate me. I don't know, but I know you know why I need to go. I'll be fine Mark, really. Just make sure Lexie is too, for me. Don't let her obsess over where I am, or anything. Please look after Derek too. He'll be crushed, but I can't around him anymore, not now, not after what he said. I'll always love him. I might come back, I might not. Just make sure my sister is happy, and make sure Derek stays sane. 

Dear Dr. Bailey,

I know you're mad at me right now. I know you hate me for what happened with the trial and Dr. Webber. However, I know you're close to Derek, so please talk to him, make sure he's okay. If he's being moody, please scream at him, just keep him in line for me. I know you want nothing to do with our personal lives, but this is important. I just can't be here anymore. I was so lucky to have you as my resident, Dr. Bailey. I'll never forget that. Thank you for everything you taught me, and I'll try and make you proud; I'm declaring general. I'll be fine where I'm going, I'll survive. I hope you can understand and forgive me one day.

Dear Dr. Webber,

Thank you, for everything you have done for me, sir. Thank you for keeping my location a secret, and understanding that I need to do this alone. I know you have your contacts, and I know you'll secretly be checking up on me the whole time. I hope to make you and Dr. Bailey proud in my new adventure, in general surgery. I'll never forget when you took the time to teach me. I know you're mad at him, but don't be too harsh on Derek. He'll be in pain. Just make sure he doesn't lose his way. I still love him, but I just can't trust him. I'll be okay, I'll be extraordinary, just like you would have wanted. I'll update you soon.