fragments of my life [MERDER]

NINETEEN

Derek's entire outlook had changed since he was told by Bailey about Meredith's probable return within the next six weeks. He'd got started on his master idea to show her how much he loved her, how much he missed her, how much he needed her with him. He needed to prove to Meredith that he was trustworthy, forgivable, that without her, he was nothing but ordinary. Derek needed her to be extraordinary. But first, Derek pondered, he had to find some way to let Meredith know that Zola was back with them. She hadn't reacted to a single one of his multiple calls, texts and voicemails, but had a tingling feeling that she had been communicating with other people in Seattle. Her sister, perhaps.

Lexie was Derek's go-to person on all things Meredith nowadays. The two had seemed to reconcile at some point over the last month or so, maybe even before that, Derek could tell, because Lexie had stopped moaning and moping, despite the breakup with Mark, she looked a lot less exhausted, and she had a spring in her step that she didn't have before.

Oh, and Lexie was completely avoiding Derek whenever possible. So Derek deduced that she definitely, 100%, knew something, and was avoiding Derek so she didn't let it slip. Not to pry and screw things up yet another time, he wasn't going to grill Lexie on what she knew, because it didn't matter; it wasn't important. Meredith was going to be home soon, and she needed to know what would be waiting for her. Zola, her perfect little girl, was going to be waiting for her. He needed Lexie to pass that bit of information on to Meredith; she'd deserved to know earlier, but some weeks late would have to suffice.

He found Lexie in the cafeteria, reading some patient charts as she ate lunch. Derek really didn't want to ambush her, but this was crucial information, and Meredith did need to know.

"Lexie."

"Derek."

"I need you to do something for me."

"I'm waiting." Lexie wondered what Derek was here for now.

"Listen, look... I" Derek stuttered, "Oh for gods sakes, I'll just come out with it. I know you're in contact with Meredith; I- I didn't go through your phone or anything, just so you know. You've just been more cheerful recently even after Mark. I assumed."

"I give up. You two are so infuriating. I hope you know I'm not going to tell you anything, not because I don't want to, but because she specified that I don't." Lexie replied, a sad grimace across her face.

"I don't need or want to know anything." Derek prodded, not really looking convincing.

"She tells me about her life and asks me how you are every day, Derek. I tell her all about the hospital gossip; Owen and Cristina, Mark, Jackson and April. I'm being vague because you know I can't say anything, but when you say you don't want to know anything, you're about as convincing as... nevermind." Lexie huffed.

"I'm serious." Derek transmitted, deadpanned.

"Sure you are, Derek; but what exactly did you come to me for, then?" Lexie didn't seem too satisfied.

"I need you to send her a message."

"About?"

"Zola. I need you to tell her we got our Zozo back, and that everything's okay now, but I'm missing a fragment of my heart, of my family. Tell her I was an idiot and I was wrong with everything I said; she would be a great mother", Lexie diverted her gaze downwards as her eyes widened, but Derek didn't notice Lexie's reaction. She zoned out for a few seconds as she mentally cursed Meredith for continuing to keep the news of her pregnancy from her husband. She tuned back in as Derek continued, "She would be an incredible mother, the opposite of her mother, and I really need her. I have no idea how to do this on my own. Bailey is trying to help me, but... Bailey's not Zola's mother, Meredith is, and Zola needs her mama." Derek said with gentle directness.