Difficult Journey (A Big Girl Love Story)

Chapter 27 She's Gone

When you lose someone you love it’s like the world halts to a sudden stop, like no one can say anything to make it better; to change the situation. As I walked into school the next morning I felt the sadness surround me as I walked in late to school. The first bell already rang: everyone was in their first hours starting to learn and I walked slowly down the hallway without my sister because she got sick. While I was walking down the hallway I saw a familiar face; Nathan. We walked to each other not saying anything and He fell into my arms. I felt his shoulders shake as he silently sobbed. He and Paige were like brother and sister; her family loved Nathan very much. As we stood in the hallway I whispered assuring words to him; telling him I knew that it hurt. Nathan silently pulled back a little; I took this time to study his face, his eyes drooped like he hadn’t slept in a while, his smile that was usually there was gone now; leaving a frown, and his nose looked red from crying so much.

"Want to go to the library and skip first hour, they have counselors in the library."

"We can do that?" Nathan asked a little shocked as he put his back pack in his locker. I nodded.

Nathan and I sat in the library and eventually people kept coming in and sitting with us; including his new girlfriend. At third hour they wanted us to go to class but everyone started to fight it. Eventually everyone in the library wanted to go home and I had to stay the day at school by myself; with no one.  I called Luke during lunch telling him I wanted him to pick me up and that the girl that died last night was my friend. I started tearing up on the phone and I knew that Luke could tell by how my voice was quivering.

At the end of the day I stepped out of the school and saw Luke's truck right away. He must of left his school early just to get here on time. Always there for me; My Luke. Luke spotted me and jumped out of his truck like there was a wild bear inside of it and he was running for his life. He ran to me; opening his arms, immediately embracing me. God, I loved him so much, he always knew what I needed.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know, I came as soon as I could." Had he been waiting out here for an hour?

"How could you? I'm just glad your here." I said as I pulled him to me. "Just don’t let me go."

"Never." He said and we stood there. We got weird looks from some people walking by, but honestly I didn’t care. I was in pain, I was hurt, and I knew there were other people hurting to so they had no right to judge me, right?

I didn’t let myself cry during school, I knew I needed to be strong for my friends that were closer to her. I wasn’t that close to her but I stayed at her house a couple times last year and I talked to her in school sometimes and we said hi in the hallway when we saw each other. That’s the thing though you don’t need to be close to them to be sad that they are gone. She was funny, pretty, and mostly sweet. She had a bit of a funny sass to her that no one could explain but she did talk to almost anyone and everyone. Her smile was one of those smiles that couldn’t be replaced; like they glowed just a little more than the most.

Luke didn't let go but he placed his hands on my shoulders to look at my face. "May, its fine to cry." I shook my head.

"Not yet." I said and he nodded, thinking that it was just because I didn’t like crying in public but that wasn’t just it. Luke tries to be as understanding as possible but I don’t think he understood this, I’m not very emotional when there are people around me that are hurting more than me and need me. At this point and time, people needed me to be strong and that’s what I intended to do until I knew I could break.

"Let's go to my house." I smiled. More than likely I’d be getting chocolate. I love this man.

Luke led me to his truck this time giving me a boost; he must have sensed how weak I was at this point. I sat in the truck and gave him a smile of gratitude. He, then, closed the door and walked to the other side of the truck. He hopped in, leaned in-between the seats, and gave me a peck on the cheek.