Difficult Journey (A Big Girl Love Story)

Chapter 4 The Funeral

I couldn't take my mind off of my dad; everywhere I looked something reminded me of him. The way the wind shook the trees reminded me of how my siblings and I used to climb up the trees and he would shake it till we would finally climb down laughing. The food we ate reminded me of him cooking. Whenever we sat at the table to eat his chair that he normally sat in was empty. 

It had been four days since Shelly talked to us about moving. I hadn't tried calling Paul yet I became more nervous the more I thought about it.  

We decided to have the funeral tomorrow. It was a little bit of a wait because the hospital wanted to examine dad's body before we could do anything with it; in exchange they paid to have the body prettied up and such. We decided on having a closed casket. I decided that I'll talk to Paul at the Funeral. We asked Molly, my dad's sister, and Paul, my dad's brother to say something at the funeral along with Landon, his best friend. They all agreed as we thought they would. I had to ask Nathan and Sapphire today if they will come I had decided I would at school today. They knew my dad died because there was a story in the paper about it and they had a little memorial at school for us; They were, however, hurt that I didn't tell them. I had gotten plenty of cards from the school, well, me and my siblings did. 

We pulled into the parking lot yet again for another long day at school. The car was more quiet now every day to school; no music, no laughing, nothing. Brittney and I walked into school together silent; no more bashing on Simon's driving skills, no more talking about what we were doing after school. Just silent. I stepped in front of her to open the high school door and walked in bouncing my hand across the door as I walked in to keep it opened as she walked in. I walked up the steps and Nathan just walked out of the commons with his buddies. He saw me and I heard him say, "You guys go ahead, I'll catch up with you later." He had been giving me hugs everyday even if I didn't say anything to him. It was nice to know that he was there for me. Sapphire is there too she tried to talk to me every day she tried to get me to laugh maybe smile but it didn't really work. Today I was feeling a little bit better though. Nathan walked over to me and said in a quiet voice, "Hey, how are you." For the first time in days I smiled then sighed. I could tell Nathan didn't really expect an answer.

"Better." One simple word but it just lit up Nathan. 

"That's great!" He pulled me into a hug I slid my hands on his back and we just stood there. Brittney kept walking once we went into the hug, she finds it awkward. Nathan tried pulling away. I kept hold of him.

"Not quite. I'm just not ready to face reality yet." I said in a whisper into his shoulder. He let out a slight chuckle.

"Alright." and he pulled me closer and tighter. I closed my eyes if felt good to have heat, I've been so cold lately. I pulled away feeling a tear fall down my cheek I wiped it away quickly, my dad used to hug me like that.  Nathan saw that I was starting to tear up and randomly pulled out a Kleenex and gave it to me.  I laughed. "What? I felt like today was the day." he said as he shrugged I laughed again.

"Jeez, you are an amazing person."

"I love you too." I laughed and he elbowed me. "Let's go!" He said and pushed my back a little. 

"Alright." He grabbed my bag for me.

I know what you're thinking; oh they are basically dating! Blah blah blah. No, ok we are good friends and he is here for me. I might have a little crush but I would never ruin our friendship over something so stupid, ok so maybe not so little crush but I don't want to lose him as a friend. Catch my drift? Alright.

He walked me to the library and set my stuff on the regular table I sat at and we walked down the hall toward the freshman hallway. "Hey may." He turned to me.