him after me || dnf ✓

Chapter 2: Finding Out

I groaned to myself, keeping my eyes shut as I slowly came back into consciousness. Everything from the accident flooded my mind as I remembered what had happened. After the whole crash, I wouldn't have expected to be alive but not only that, I felt great! No pain at all, damn, I thought to myself, doctors and pain meds are getting better every day!

I was snapped back into reality with the sound of heavy rain and sirens blaring. My eyes blinked open as I realised, I wasn't in a hospital or anything, I was still in my car.

The walls had completely caved in and the windows were now fragments of glass that were everywhere. I pulled myself up from my seat and climbed out from the open windshield. The rain had started to dissipate as I took in the scene before me. Red and blue lights faded in and out from every direction, ambulances and cop cars were scattered everywhere and another car sat not too far ahead of me, just as totalled as mine. 

As I stepped away from the crash, looking around no one seemed to notice my presence, I would guess they thought I was already dead. I go over to get someone's attention when a familiar voice echoes from a distance. I turn to see George running over to me, distraught and crying my name. "George I'm okay" I call out to him, running with my arms open to hug him. When we get closer his demeanour doesn't change and he is still screaming for me. Regardless, we finally reach each other but he just runs past me. Or through me is a better word. Wait...through me???

I turn around to see him hurdling himself towards the smoking wreckage of my car and screaming at police officers to help him. I run up to George, still so confused and wrap him in a hug only to see my arms going through his body. I hear George still sobbing "OLI PLEASE COME BACK." that's when I see him.

Myself.

I cautiously walk over to the front of my car and there I am, still sat in the driver's seat. Gashes and blood covered me as I laid unconscious. My skin was pale and my body was lifeless. George watched as officers helped pull my body out of the wreckage and George rushed over to hold me.

Neither of us needed to be told by the EMTs that were looking at George with pity, we knew I was dead. I laid on the road as the rain was now only a light sprinkle and George sobbed into my chest, my head in his lap. I began approaching them, my body and George that is. I knelt down to George and reached for him, I could feel him. I could feel the warmth of his skin and the tears trickling down his cheeks. But he couldn't feel me. He didn't know I was there for him, comforting him. I only existed in my own world and George existed with my body.

I held onto him tightly, sobbing. I cried into his shoulder as he cried into my body's. My tears only streamed down faster after knowing that I was gone and George was alone.

I remember telling him I would love him until the day I died, turns out I get to love him forever but just not while I'm alive.

-

George ended up sitting there for another hour before they had to take my body away. Sapnap was now there, holding George in the living room of our house. He was holding George, instead of me. Sapnaps puffy eyes and tear-stained cheeks matched George's as they mourned over me. They wouldn't know that I was there too, holding them both. Their choked sobs filled the dark room, it would be the only thing either of them could hear for the rest of that night.

-

I watched as my family, friends and boyfriend said goodbye to me. I could tell that they were all on the brink of breaking. Each one of them approached my lifeless body in the mahogany casket.

My mom and dad prayed for me and told me the story I had heard a million times of how I was brought home from the hospital except this time felt special, probably because it would be one of the last. "We love you, son," they said.

My brother simply sat with me and reminisced of our fond memories and dumb sibling banter. He told me how he loved me even though I was a pain in the ass and how he was sorry for all the trouble he got me in. "I love you, even though I haven't said it to you in a long time. I love you so so much" he cried out before running out of the chapel.

Sapnap came up to me and left a letter tucked by my body. I knew he was bad at expressing his emotions so it still meant so much to me even though I wasn't able to read it. "Love u man" he whispers, clearly holding back tears.

George walked up to me slowly when it was his turn. He held my cheek and planted a soft kiss on my forehead. That would be the last time. "Oliver, I love you so so much." he began crying. "Before we got together you told me that I didn't deserve you and how I deserved the world. But why would I want the world when I could have you. In fact, you are my world, you're my everything. I don't know how I'm going to live without you. When I wake up each morning, the only reason I get up is for you. How can I live if you're a part of me, you have my heart, always and forever. I love you Oli."

He broke down at my casket and sat on the floor as people began funnelling out of the chapel. I held him tightly and kissed his forehead.

I love you, George. I will always be here for you, more than you know.

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Drink some water as well <3

This perspective is so weird to write in