him after me || dnf ✓

Chapter 5: That night

(I highly recommend listening to the song when he starts singing it: The night we met by lord huron)

I walked next to George with my head down as he dawdled along the empty streets. The sun was setting and the air grew colder. After a few more minutes of walking, he finally found his way back home. The door creaked open as George inhaled sharply, his eyes seemed to go blank as his lips parted in what seemed to be pain. He clutched his stomach, dropping to the ground and letting out choked sobs. "Please...Oli, I need you. You have to come back, you can't leave me like this..." his voice was strained from crying. I think part of me broke, seeing him on the floor while I stand here, helpless. I can't comfort him, he's alone. 

After a few more moments of George mumbling incoherent words, he had stopped crying and reached into his bag taking out two things: his phone and a small orange cylinder...pills. 

I knew what he was going to do. I brought my hand to my lips, muffling my sobs even though no one can hear me in the first place. Tears spilt over my eyes and flowed down my face like a river escaping a broken dam. George on the other hand, held an empty glare at his phone looking at the messages between him and Nick. A solemn tear escaped and fell down his already tear-stained cheek, his body looked calm compared to how tangled his mind must be. I watched as he typed out to Nick,

"I'm sorry for what I said, I'm sorry for how I treated you and I'm sorry for what I'm about to do. Thank you for what you've done for me, it's more than you could ever imagine but I can't keep doing this without Oli. You're stronger than me though, I truly think you can move on and do great things. I love you so so fucking much, ill see you when I see you." 

I watched, tears continued to slip down my face. George took the pill bottle, opening it with a shaky hand and poured the contents into his palm. The chalky white beads spilled into his hand with ease, a few bouncing out and scattering across the cold floor. He took a deep breath, one that would likely be his last as he brought his palm up to his mouth. In one swift action, he threw his head back and swallowed the pills with the help of the water bottle that the stranger from this morning had given him. 

He let out a breathy chuckle as he leaned against the walls. George's phone was blowing up, presumably from Nick, he didn't bother checking it and instead slid it across the floor away from him. His eyes closed as he began singing a familiar tune,

"I am not the only travler"

I knelt down next to him as I hummed the words with him, tears continued to stream out as i rested my hand on his.

"Who has not repaid his debt

Ive been searching for a trail to follow again

Take me back to the night we met

And then I can tell myself

What the hell im supposed to do

And then I can ell myself

Not to ride along with you

I had all and then most of you"

I could feel his voice becoming weaker as his breathing slowed and tears began slipping down his cheek as he let out a strained voice

"Some and now none of you

Take me back to the night we met

I dont know what I'm supposed to do...

Haunted by the ghost of you"

Oh how he would never realise how painfully accurate the simple lyrics were.

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