Cheating Myself

21

Daniel's POV

I stood with a bunch of rich bastards sipping my whiskey. I hated these receptions. The only time I really enjoyed one was when I took Emily with me. I looked at Angela who was rolling her eyes from another sleazy comment about her beauty. Not that I would care. She has always been only a good fuck and a pretty face to accompany me at these kinds of gatherings. She was the kind of woman looking for a great financial catch to make her life comfortable even if it meant to spread her legs.

I excused myself and went to the bar. I ordered another whiskey and took a seat in the corner avoiding everyone. I closed my eyes inhaling deeply. Emily's sad face appeared in my head. I hurt her today. But it was the right way to do it. I screwed up once in my life. I had to protect and I failed and I didn't want to do it again. Not to her. Somewhere deep down I found them even similar but I brushed that thought right away. This is just the mind playing me.

"If I were you I would be sober before coming back home and kneeling my apologies to Emily," Tony said taking the seat next to me. He always had a thick skin to women using them only for his needs but somehow Emily managed to crawl under it and set a camp in bastards heart.

"If I were you I would shut the fuck up and leave your boss alone" I snapped at him ending one more glass and making a sign to a bartender for a refill.

"You really are that stupid, aren't you?" Tony said shaking his head in disbelief.

I ignored him and took my phone from my pocket to check the CCTV of the mansion. I wanted to know what was she doing. Was she asleep? Or maybe she was reading a book near the window in the living room like she always was in the evenings. I desperately needed to see her beautiful face.

"What happened between you two? I thought you liked her. Is she that bad in a sack?" Tony said smirking and I just scrolled the cameras wanting to find where she was.

I saw something on the kitchen table and it warmed my heart. She cooked for us. Maybe she isn't mad at me. Why would she cook if she was angry? Emily was the kind of girl that would kick you in the nuts for pissing her off, not making something to eat. I smiled to myself at the thought. The rest of the house was empty so I assumed she was asleep or just stayed in her room. I put my phone back in my pocket and went back to drinking.

"Okay, you have to tell me what's going on. I am not your right hand now, I am your best friend and I want to know what's bothering you so much" Tony sounded sincere.

I hang my head low scratching the back of my neck.

"I can't be with her. She's too pure for me. She has been through a lot and I am going to hurt her even more with my twisted self," there. I said it out loud.

"Are you fucking delusional!? She is just as fucked up as you are. You saw her file. The girl is a ghost. There's no information on her at all. Only the one she wants to show. Do you really think that you will be a bad match? You care about her and you will never hurt her. You finally found the one that handles you on every level possible and you're acting like a damn pussy drinking and pitying yourself. Frankly, she really deserves better anyway after the stunt you pulled today! The girl was a mess! She called herself a "working-class" for fuck sake! I am going home to make sure she's okay." Tony stood up shoving me the signed docs and disappeared into the crowd.

I was boiling with anger. I hated Tony for all the things he told me. But mostly I hated him because he was right. Despite my fear of hurting her my fear of losing her is much bigger. But we could work it out, right? It's better to try and fail than never try and regret. With that in mind, I put some cash onto the bar and practically ran to the parking lot. But when I reached it I saw a problem that I didn't want to deal with right now, waiting for me near my car.

"Hey, I've been freezing here waiting for you. I hope you can warm me up on the road to yours" Angela purred placing her sharp fingers on my chest.

I moved her hands from me and made my way to the driver's side.

"You're not coming and if I were you, I'd start searching for a new sponsor. Later!" with that, I drove away not caring about all the alcohol in my blood.

All the way back I was trying to find the right words to say how sorry I am and how I really feel. My mind was a little dizzy but I needed to make it work. I skipped all the red lights and broke several SDAs. I was so eager to come back to her that I didn't see the police car behind me.

"Excuse me, officer, how long will I be here?" I snapped at the lady in the uniform sitting behind the desk.

"I am really sorry Mr. Reed but you're drunk and despite the fact that you broke the law I can't let you go by yourself. If you don't want to spend the sobering night here I recommend you to call someone who can pick you up." She said looking angry. I have my way with the police about breaking some law but a drunk ride is not an option.

I took my phone and called Tony. As pissed as he was he would never leave me here. But before I could say a word I was met by a screaming rage.

"I hope now you're fucking happy! She left! She left and there's no way to locate her now! She's miserable and now she's alone and it's all because of you!! I hope you're enjoying yourself fucking some slut all night because I have no fucking desire to see you soon!" and with that, the line went silent.

She left. She fucking left. I laid on a greasy mattress staring at the gray dingy ceiling. How am I going to find her now? Does she even want to be found? How could I fuck up so badly... Now spending the night in a cell isn't that miserable than understanding that I may lose the only hope for true love in my life.

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