Cheating Myself

22

23

Daniel's POV

I groaned from pain when the sun beamed straight to my face from the window. I covered my eyes with my hand and turned my body from the burning hell. As I gained some strength to open my eyes and saw it was only 5 in the morning.

It's been almost three weeks since Emily took off. We tried to find her but it was useless. The woman disappeared. We tracked the cab driver and the final spot where he left her but there was nothing to help us with, it was a suburb of a little town 20 minutes from Chicago. She could crash there or she could take a bus and drift off anywhere she wanted. She could even swim to Canada for all I know.

Tony was really pissed off at me and I haven't seen him a lot lately. He must have started seeing someone because he never sleeps at the mansion now. At least the job makes me busy. I can spill all my anger and not regret it any bit.

My phone rang and I scrunched my face from the loud noise. What the actual fuck! I groaned and answered to phone determined to tell whoever it was to fuck off. But I couldn't even say a word. Tony's loud baritone beamed straight to my head.

"Get up you lazy fuck! I found her! She was right beside us. In a cabin down the road where the taxi driver left her. Anyway, I will tell you all the details while we're on the way" it's been a while since I heard him being so happy and enthusiastic.

I closed my eyes and imagined Emily happily sipping her coffee on the porch with her long silky hair fallen in her beautiful face. Do I really want her back? What if she's better without all the shit I put her through? Why would she be happy to see me anyway? I hurt her...

"If you want you can go. See if she is fine and make sure she doesn't struggle with anything...Tell her...Tell that I say "Hi" ..." I answered Tony and then I was silent. I couldn't bear the thought that I can go and see her now. I wanted it the most and I didn't want that at the same time. Fucking bipolar fuck!

"Tell her you say "Hi"??! Are you fucking kidding me right now?! You get your dumb ass from the bed and take a cold shower, wake that stupid brains of yours! I will be home by 7 and you better be ready to go and bring back the only woman that made you so miserable!" and with that, the call ended.

Was he right? Should I win her back? Fucking hell! Never in my life was I so confused over a woman. It was always just physical and now I am stuck in a whirlpool of my own emotions not knowing what to do next.

I stood from the bed and took a long shower before dressing and making my way to the kitchen. Before Tony came I was having the fourth cup and was pacing back and forth through the kitchen floor.

"I see you found a way to compose yourself man" Tony smirked looking at my overly active body and dirty cups on the counter.

"Okay, let's do it. What's the worst that can happen? Right?" I said in a shaky voice. This coffee was really making me a mad man.

"Well, she can kick your ass, that's for starters."

"Okay, I can live with that! And if she won't talk to me we can always kidnap her! Or we can lock her in the cabin and she won't get away anymore! Orrrrr... We can buy those big trucks where you can live and we can be on the road all the time with her unless she forgives me!" my mind was going crazy.

"How many coffees did you have?" Tony asked with a concerned look.

"Just four. With a bit of sugar." I answered still pacing the floor.

"Well, it's not the worst what I saw. Let's go. We will have a ride with open windows so that you can get back to the right state of mind, you sick bastard" Tony laughed and went to the door.

"Okay, but we have to stop and get more coffee for the road!"

"No, we don't!"

After 40 minutes of drive, we parked on the side of the road overlooking a small wooden house. It was a little far from the road but you could clearly see everything. The cabin was one-storied probably one or two bedrooms but it looked cozy even from outside. It had a small but neat yard with a porch swing on one side of the door and two wicker chairs and a small wooden table on the other side. A white low fence was surrounded by a line of neatly cut bushes. My mind immediately imagined Emily with a book on the swing covered in a soft blanket, the corners of her lips slightly moving while she read and her shiny hair moving with the wind.

"Are we coming or what?" I was taken back to reality with Tony's question.

"No. We're watching." I calmly answered while my whole body was in a battle.

After half an hour of waiting, I saw a handsome tall dude coming to her porch. I immediately tensed up. Who the fuck was he? What was he doing here and who was he to Emily?

When he approached closer the door swung open and I saw her running in his hands hugging him tightly. The stupid fuck swirled her and kissed her in the forehead. I couldn't bear it. I started seeing red and my heart was hammering in my chest like crazy. Did she actually move on in a couple of fucking weeks? Was she sleeping with him? The bare thought made my stomach churn. They sat on a patio and she was looking so careless and happy. I glanced one more time at her shining face and drove off.

The road home was quiet for a long before Tony started being Tony again.

"Don't jump to conclusions. You don't know who the guy was," he said calmly.

"Yea, cause he looked exactly like her gay friend." I scoffed.

"I am just asking you to act clever and not to do stupid shit while you know everything for sure."

"There's nothing to know for sure. I am going to the club and I believe you have work to do."

"But you need to-" Tony started but I cut him off.

"I don't need shit! And don't you ever start this conversation again!"

Winter was knocking on our doors and I couldn't make my mind to call her. I stood from the bed quietly not to wake the sleeping blonde chick and made my way to the shower. All my nights were practically the same. I drank at the bar and hooked up with random women. Lucy tried to lure me into her a couple of times but I knew better than that. She was really causing me trouble threatening me with her father but I always refused her anyway. Tony was barely speaking with me because of my behavior and I had to move my night affairs to my apartments. The one the closest was the deal. Today I woke up in the same building Emily should've lived and I was pissed off about myself for coming here.

After a quick shower, I made my way to dress and get the hell out of there ASAP. When I was just going to leave the bedroom the body lying on my sheets woke up.

"Mmm... Hello handsome. That was one hell of a night. I would kill for some coffee right now." She purred standing up and moving to hug me from behind.

"Then you better dress up and enjoy your day. I have work to do. The faster you leave the faster the maid will clean the mess here" I readjusted my tie and took off not giving her the possibility to speak to me.

When I exited the elevator I saw a lot of boxes and a familiar silhouette moving near them. Fuck! NO NO NO! This can't be happening! I started to move to the hallway doors and my heart stopped beating. She was even more beautiful than in my dreams every night. Her long dark hair was loosened in waves and she was biting her lip while tapping her chin with her finger. As I moved closed her eyes met mine and she froze looking me straight in the eyes. So many emotions were hiding under those eyes. I could see that she also didn't know how to act further so I had to take my shit together and make a move.