Stuck in Between / BlindChannel

10. Dr. Porko

I needed to talk with some one who had some sense in his mind, or atl east some sense left in his mind. Each of the guys had their own spot in my heart. As Joel was the ex I still was so closely connected to and Aleksi was the source of my daydreams then Olli was the one who I occasionally accompanied to yoga if and when I felt like I needed help finding inner peace. Niko was the guy I sometimes did allnighters at studio, writing songs and he was also the guy who taught me everything I knew about music. Tommi was the guy when I needed a smart life advices. And then there was Porko, the guy who was there to deal with my emotional shit. Sometimes I really felt sorry for him that I made him listen all the crap I was going through but he really listened. Tho I wouldn't wonder if he actually needed some therapy himslef after listening me so much but I'd be down to even pay for his visits if he ever needed it. So it was no surprise this time either that I was aggressively banging Joonas' door.

"How about you just break in next time? Or should I actually give you a key?" He asked a cigarette between his lips when he finally opened the door to me. I walked in, pulled the cancer stick away from him, placed it between my lips and walked straight to the balcony.  Joonas stood by the door for a moment computing the situation before he followed me.

"So you started smoking?" He asked while sitting on the bench next to me.

"No" I answered and inhaled that poisonous stuff. My whole body was shaking because the events that took place at Joel's.

"I just felt like this would help me die faster because that is exactly what I wanna do now" I said staring right in front of me, not even looking at Joonas who had no idea what the hell was going on. The cigarette tasted terrible and I already regretted putting it into my mouth in the first place but guess that was the taste of my life at the moment. Bitter, terrible and definitely poisonous.

He took a deep breath and took the cigarette away from me, dumped it into ashtray and pulled me up. He walked me to the living room, pushed me on the sofa like a ragdoll lifting my legs up and placed a pillow under my head. Then he sat on the armchair next to me and stared me for a second before opening his mouth.

"What happened?"

"So you are now a licensed therapist?"I asked and looked him.

"For now, yes. Speak up. What can possibly be so bad that you want to kill yourself slowly with some shitty tasting cigarettes? There are much easier and faster ways to do that, you know" Joonas spoke and lifted his right leg over the left one.

"Guess..." I sighed and looked at the white ceilings.

"Our favorite mr. Moody Moodpecker?" Joonas asked and I just raised my thumbs up.

"So what did he do this time? Also... How it is that I get the half naked FaceTime calls every time I do something wrong, and if someone else does something wrong then it is again me who has to do a freelance therapy sessions to all of you? Why can't it be like otherway around... Half naked calls when I have to deal with someone else's shit show.." Joonas asked.

"Hey, you were supposed to be listening me, Dr. Porko. " I threw a cushion at him.

"Besides I don't know how much you would enjoy half naked FaceTimes with Joel... And I don't mean him being topless" I continued.

"Eeww... Yeah no. Anyawy, sorry... I'm listening"

"Firstly, thanks for babysitting Joel last night.. I'll get you your beer at some point" I started kindly by thanking him because of all the trouble he had to go through last night even tho I had no idea what they even did with Joel in order to let me have a peaceful date night with my new lover.