Stuck in Between / BlindChannel

24. Just say when and where and I'm in

Aleksi was still looking at me. Not saying a word after what he had just said, just looking. I was trying to understand if the tears were happy tears or the tears of the fear that I might actually lose this man any time soon because of my life is such a mess. Ten million thoughts were having a blast in my head and I didn't know what to say or do. But I needed to say something and not let him hang like that. I knew my feelings and it was only fair to let him know them after he confessed his love to me.

"I..." I started and kept looking at the man in front of me. His breath had gotten back to normal and his hair was messy as hell but he still looked so handsome. The four year age gap did not bother me at all. Like said before, he was sometimes more mature than any other of us, being more down to earth when the rest of us were easily carried away by some random wind every now and then.

"You don't need to say it if you're not ready yet.. I just felt like I had to get it out. I've been in love with you for so long time and the past weeks have made ..."

"I love you, too..." I cut him off. Yesterday I felt like I was not ready to say it to him yet because all the emotions that the Friday night had brought up, but now I saw no reason why I shouldn't tell it to him. I loved him, I really did. The feelings I had towards him were so strong that I just wanted to pull him close to me and never let go of him. He made me feel secure, loved, comfy... Just like Joel used to make me feel.. I loved everything about Aleksi. His personality, his looks, the way he speaks... Everything. Yes my feelings were still a mess but I knew I loved him. I did. But there still might be feelings towards Joel also.. Feelings I find hard to deny.

"I love you, Aleksi.." I repeated myself. Smile climbed on the man's lips. This moment was so surreal. The sex we just had was amazing and the after shake from it was still running up and down my body. The way how we were at the moment, still naked, sweaty and messy was just so.. Beautiful. Aleksi moved his hand from my chin to the back of my neck and pulled me into deep, loving kiss. I wrapped my hands around his neck and moved myself closer to him. If this was how it was gonna be with him, I didn't want to tell him about the past. I needed a brand new, carefree start. But was I really ready.. ?

After confessing our feelings we just laid on the bed, sharing kisses and cuddling. This felt so much better now. He really was mine now. All I ever needed. Feeling Aleksi's soft hands caressing myside eventually made me fall asleep next to him.

I hadn't slept this well for weeks. The smell of coffee was gently finding its way up to my nose and my brain already got some caffeine from it so I opened my eyes, just to see Aleksi sitting on the bed next to me coffee in his hands.

"Morning sleeping beauty" he smiled and moved the coffee closer to me. This was just too perfect. Having him and the coffee in the bed at the same time. Freaking paradise.

"Oh.. The love of my life, good morning..." I reached for the coffee and then looked at Aleksi.

"And to you too" I smiled, making Aleksi just chuckle.

"Love you too... Just that.. We're running late. I forgot to set the alarm last night" he said and kissed my fore head.

"What time it is?" I asked while peacefully sipping the coffee. I just wanted to stay like this the rest of the day. Aleksi stood up and I then noticed he had only a towel around his hips. Yes, this is the view I needed every morning. Plus the coffee of course.

"Half past ten"
"Shit" I quickly drank the coffee, pretty much with one big sip and stood up. I was still naked and that fact was not being unnoticed by Aleksi, who pulled me against him from my wrist as I was making my way to the bathroom to have a quick shower.