[1:09 pm.]
moon of love.
Boys - a bunch of idiots.
That's how Sivaangi would describe the boys she had in her life. They were funny people, they tried so hard to be "macho" or "manly" by suppressing their emotions, but just ended up expressing more or hurting someone else.
Toxic masculinity had made it in such a way where men who are emotionless or just straight up ride are considered "manly." You're a man? You can't cry. You're a man and you're expressing emotions basic to a human being? You're definitely not manly then. She found that the boys of her age and older to her, were of the same product. Egoistic, rude bunch of idiots.
Of course, she knew not all men were of that sort. Her father, her brother, any of her Anna's or some of her friends as well, they were not of this nature. They had realised the importance of giving respect and receiving it as well. Without being an asshole.
Sivaangi was no stranger to love. She had many crushes, real and celebrity alike but she was no fool either. She knew the difference between loving someone and wanting someone.
With no parity of gender, everyone in her life had been increasingly temporary. She would invest time and emotion, only to be left alone. She had learned that not everyone would respect you, no matter how talented or nice you were. Especially boys.
But Ashwin Kumar, had proved to be a clear different entity from all of the men she had met. It baffled her, the amount of respect and love he has for her.
Never once had he spoken rudely, looked at her in a way, touched her without her consent, never once had he degraded her. This was the bare minimum, she knew. But the first time she experienced that, she was in awe.
Beyond that, were the things he did for her. Small things, like making sure she always had her charger, or turning on the heater before she came home, or always putting the coffee mugs on the lowest rack because she couldn't reach any higher. He never made fun of the insecurities that were in her.
Sivaangi was always in a fantasy land, drawing pictures of her life that she had wished would happen. Her parents were always worried that she would be stuck in her head and never be grounded to reality.
With Ashwin, she didn't need to daydream because he made sure all of her dreams come true.
Which is why she was marrying him, today. She couldn't believe it. That this amazing man was willing to spend the rest of his life with her, She considered herself the luckiest of all.
For her, Ashwin was everything. She literally couldn't be without him. He loved her for who she was, what more could a girl want? He didn't want her to change herself. Of course, relationships came with adjustments, but if it was for him, she would do this and more.
Sivaangi has always been able to articulate her feelings. But her love for Ashwin, she could never express the extent of it. She loved him so much that she was quite scared of it.
She won't forget the way he proposed. Under the moonlight, on the beach. She hadn't gotten proper sleep in days, yet she came out to meet him. He took her hands as the waves crashed into the shore and he said,
"Do you know how people say I love you to the moon and back?"
Sivaangi nodded and he said, "I would never say that to you."
She furrowed her eyebrows, "Why?"
"Because the moon wanes and waxes, but my love for you would never."
He kissed her then, under the moonlight, the sand tickling her feet just like his hands on her waist and he mumbled against her lips, "To prove that, will you marry me?"
And when she saw the tears in his eyes when she said yes to his proposal, she knew that there was no one else she would spend her life with. Because it was Ashwin.
She couldn't give analogies or examples. She loved him. It was as simple as that. And as testament of her love, a yellow thread hung around her neck.
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too cheesy? 😬
