it was instinctive the way i fell for you,
like an effortless intake of breath
----------------------------------------------------------------------
"Sivaangi?"
Silence.
"Uhm,. Sivaangi?"
Sivaangi broke out of her trance and looked at her mother, who was in front of her. Her mother looked at her concernedly,
"Sivaangi, enna achu?"
Sivaangi shook her head, "Onnum illa ma. Neenga enna soninga?"
Her mother sighed, "Inga paaru, yaarume onna force panna mattom. Just poi pesu, no pressure okay?"
Sivaangi nodded vaguely and her mother said, "Seri nee poi ready aagu."
Sivaangi felt so weird. She didn't understand why the prospect of just talking to someone else other than him made her feel so strange. Deep down, she felt like this was all pointless, because there wouldn't be anyone else like him. She felt like she could get lost in that maze countless times but she would always end up by his side.
But she was scared. Loving Ashwin Kumar, is a losing game. The man can shower you in love so intensely that the prospect of losing him becomes such a big fear. Sivaangi was scared of giving into him, and then losing him and then being unable to recoup from that pain. She could do everything in this world except for falling out of love with him. It was impossible.
So she wanted to try. Maybe she could actually like this person.
The moment she entered the cafe where they agreed to meet, she felt like she was getting inside a warzone. He was a tall man, bearded and had hazel eyes. He was on his phone when she came in but immediately looked when she approached him. He got up and smiled and outstretched his hand.
"Hi, Siddharth."
Sivaangi shook his hand. It was warmer than Ashwin's. But somehow she preferred the cold.
She gave him a weak smile, "Sivaangi."
Sidharth smiled, "Ungala theriyama iruka mudiyuma?"
Sivaangi sat down and silence filled the air momentarily before he asked, "Did you find the place easy?"
Sivaangi nodded, "Yeah, easy tham."
Siddharth nodded and shifted in his chair. "Uhm so. Yen singing pudikum?"
Sivaangi blinked. How would she answer that? She hummed, "Chinna vayasula lenthu singing than. So athunala appadiya valanthu, singing romba pudikum."
Siddharth nodded and a waiter came, saving them. He placed menu cards in front of them and Sivaangi skimmed through it before a particular dish caught her eye,
"Blueberry cheesecake?"
Sivaangi's mind flew back to the one time she insisted on baking it together and they made a mess of the kitchen and came out covered in flour.
"Ennaku actually blueberry pudikathu."
Sivaangi's train of thought broke and she looked up at Siddharth, "Huh?"
Siddharth smiled, "Aama. Ennaku general ah ve sweet pudikathu. Athuvum blueberry, suthama pudikadhu."
Sivaangi swallowed thickly, "Oh. I see."
Siddharth chuckled, "Athuvum illama lunch time la yaar dessert saapduva?"
He probably meant it very harmlessly, but Sivaangi suddenly felt very conscious about what she was eating. She cleared her throat loudly and he asked,
