Destination: Permanent Vacation

9: Oikawa - Saturday

I project too much.
TW: Mentions of sexual assault, someone has a trauma attack

We pass Lev as we head downstairs, he looks quite worried and determined.He looks serious for once. When he reaches the landing, I hear heavy footsteps like running and Lev yelling out for Yaku. Damn.

"Oh. My. God." I hear a familiar voice say as we near the kitchen. "They hooked up in Russia," Wait... Lev and Yaku hooked up? I gasp loudly at the revelation and let my go-to expression of surprise slip past my lips.

"No me diga,"

Everyone in the kitchen looks at me as we walk into the room.

"What? We were just coming down for breakfast for Tooru," Iwa says with a shrug.

"We saw Lev chasing Yaku up the stairs and figured that's what you were talking about," I elaborate, jumping up onto the stool next to Kenma. "I'm tired," I complain, burying my face in my arms like a pillow. Footsteps sound from one of the other archways which I choose to ignore.

"You would not be tired from jet lag if you had come to Shiratorizawa,"

Seriously? And my day was going so well!

I open my eyes and look up, tilting my head back to stare up at the ceiling light. Maybe if I look at it for long enough, it'll stop the pictures from forming in my brain.

The light clicks off.

I glare at Sugawara, standing by the lightswitch.

"Tooru, you're going to hurt your eyes," He warns.

"His eyes would not hurt if he had come to-" I decide to cut Ushijima off.

"Suga make him stop," I say simply, shocking myself at how devoid of emotion my voice is.

"Please, Ushijima-san, leave the room," Suga says to him.

"I just think that Oikawa should have come to Shiratorizawa,"

And that's the final straw.

The memories flood into the forefront of my brain, taking over my consciousness. I remember the event and what happened, what I should've done, what I didn't do... what happened afterwards. I got blamed and accused of lying. Because oh, no, he's not the type of boy to do that. Oh, no, he'd never do that. Are you sure? You've always such the imagination, are you sure this wasn't just a dream?

NO!

It wasn't just a dream. It happened.

It happened.

It did.

I can remember it.

It happened.

I'm not making it up.

It happened...

Why didn't I do more to stop it?

I just sat there and asked for it to stop... I barely pushed him away.

But hey, boys will be boys right?

No. Tooru. Snap yourself out of it. Your safe now, right? Safe. He's not here. You're safe.

I take a deep breath and look up at the room watching everyone's scared faces. Why are they scared? I'm the one who's scared. Scared. I'm scared. Why am I scared? I'm safe. But... what if he comes looking for me? What if I run into him one day? What if he does it again? What if he goes even further next time?

I'm only partially aware of my nails digging into my arms until they rake down. The sudden pain all the way down is enough to momentarily wake me up. I look up at Iwaizumi and reach for him with both arms. He comes over, grabbing my hands in his.