Destination: Permanent Vacation

17:Kenma + Suga - Sunday

I feel so weak and helpless just sobbing like a baby. Maybe I am too dependent on Kuroo...

"Kuroo," That's Suga's voice. "A little while ago, when we were decorating and furbishing everything, I set aside a little room to make into a panic room for when people have bad attacks like these and want to hide. I can show you where it is if you think it might help?"

"Mhm," Kuroo says.

I feel movement as he walks back into the house. Once we get there, he isn't going to just leave me, is he? I mean, I don't need him to stay, I'm not clingy. I feel my chest tighten again and move my hands slightly lower, fisting into the collar of his shirt.

"It's okay, kitten. I'm not going anywhere," He whispers into my ear. It soothes me for a few seconds until the thoughts creep in again.

Why's he staying? Does he know how dependent I am? Is that why? Is he pitying me? He shouldn't stay, it'll just prove how dependent I am.

"It's in here," Suga says. I turn my head away to look at what's going on.

Wow.

Dark mulberry coloured victorian-style wallpaper covers the wall from about halfway up. From halfway down is what looks like dark brown leather padding.

There's cushions, blankets and comfy seating everywhere and a TV on the wall above the storage units with little fabric boxes in them.

Kuroo sets me down on the sofa and I resist the urge to call him back. Maybe... maybe if I can get him to leave then it will prove that I'm not dependent.

"Do you guys want anything?" Suga asks. Kuroo shakes his head. "I'm just going to be next door tidying up a bit so we can convert it into a home classroom for me. Shout if you need anything-"

"Actually," I interupt him, assuming that he's finished. "I think I'll be okay on my own,"

Suga and Kuroo both give me disbelieving looks.

"I'll be fine," I say. I will be. Won't I?

Kuroo steps towards the door.

"I'm just a text away, okay kitten?" I nod and both of them leave.

I'll be fine. Right?

_-_

Twenty minutes later, I'm wrapped in a weighted blanket and five minutes into a panic attack. Sod it.

I wait for a break between waves and stand up from the sofa on shaky legs and immediately have to sit back down as my eyesight starts to black out and I feel lightheaded. Did I take my iron this morning?

I try to stand up again and manage to get to the door. I open it by a fraction and call out quietly, only wanting the attention of one specific person.

"S-Suga?" I call out. He pokes his head out from his doorway and immediately goes into 'Mother-mode'.

"Oh, sweetheart!" He rushes forward and comes into the panic room with me, locking the door behind himself again.

"I..." I try to speak but then another wave of panic comes and I just curl back up on the sofa. Suga sits next to me and pulls me into his side, rubbing my arm gently through the blanket.

"It's okay, sweetheart," He says reassuringly. "You're okay, you're safe," I reach forward and hug him, needing more comfort than just a one-armed side-hug.

"Kenma, I want you to take deep breaths for me, okay?" I nod shakily as Suga hugs me back. "Okay, in... and out..." I follow his instructions for a couple of minutes until I start to feel better. "Okay, good girl, Kenma," I smile at the praise as Suga pulls away from the hug but quickly correct him on my changed pronouns. He stands up and starts pulling chairs together along the edges of the sofa. "Can you grab me the pegs from the top box?" I nod and run to get them, handing them to Suga one by one as he fastens the blankets together with the pegs.