Daddy issues

CHAPTER FORTY FIVE: Cowardice

*Draco's POV*

It had been six weeks and the heartache, anguish and pure torment was refusing to leave my body... I could still hear her screams...it was eternally ingrained into my mind. They were echoing within the train compartment as if I were still in the house, hiding and counting to one thousand -trying my best to stay sane.

I remained silent for the rest of the journey, still unable to process the wrenching feeling that cocooned my body whenever I thought of Bella. Which appeared to be quite often considering she was the only thing on my mind as I stared at the stupid mountains, thinking back to her first ride to Hogwarts and how she looked in awe at them. And how we would go on walks after class in the ones on the grounds of the castle, but nowadays she didn't even want to know me.

She sat on the opposite side of the compartment, as far away as she could get from me, happily chatting away with Blaise as she hung her legs over his lap - popping a Berty Bott's Every Flavour Bean in her mouth with a smile on her face. I caught her glancing at Pansy every now and then and looking her up and down as she was chatting to Theo and Goyle.

What's that about?

It's definitely not a malicious glance...

WAIT?! IS SHE CHECKING PANSY OUT?

No... nooooo... no... that can't be it, right?

I mean we... but... we...

She kept looking at Pansy like that and it was beginning to really bother me as I just could not figure out what was going on with her. Not that she would have wanted me to, not after the summer...

***flashback***

His bony, pale fingers wrapped around my neck, nails digging into my skin as he pressed me against the wall.

"You dare disobey me, boy?" His cold voice hissed.

A mere whimper was all that could escape my throat as I collapsed to a heap, him having dropped all my weight to the stone floor once more. I didn't know how long I could take it anymore, all I wanted was for it to stop.

I wanted it all to stop.

I was selfish, I wanted to die. Death alone seemed better than the torture I was enduring. All because I stuck up for his own daughter!

Bella lay unconscious on the floor after receiving a beating for wearing mudblood clothes after we arrived back from London a week earlier... These punishments -or as he preferred to call them, "lessons"- had been occurring nonstop since that stupid day.

They continued for the rest of the summer...

* 2 weeks later*

Her screams and cries of pain bounced off of every wall of the Manor, completely surrounding me. I had ran and hid away from the Dark Lord's clutches and was currently using occlumency so that he would not find me and apparating if he ever came close. I couldn't bare to go through it again. I know Bella had told me to stick it out just once more like her father said and then we would be done, but I was at the point where I would beg for death rather than go through it again... I was a coward, I know that...

After that she refused to speak to me for the rest of the summer. Turns out, that because I didn't show, her father eventually gave up searching for me and gave her my punishments as well... she had to go through double the pain, all because I ran and hid away from it. She had to endure that for the rest of the summer holidays...

***end of flashback***

A shiver shot down my spine at the memory. I heard a sarcastic huff come from where Bella was seated.

"Is there a problem, darling?" I asked, after all I still loved her, so I continued to use the pet name.

*Annabella's POV*

How dare he think that he can still call me that...
He was literally just remembering the pain he caused me, and yet he has the sheer nerve to call me 'darling'?!

"Not at all, darling." I said with a cold and furious tone, placing emphasis on the stupid name he gave me...

"Woah, woah, woahhh! What's going on here?" I heard Pansy say as I locked eyes with Draco. His eyes looked sad, tired even... but I couldn't have cared less at that point.

I detangled my legs from Blaise's lap and rose from my seat to exit the compartment to try and find anyone else to sit with.

I had got a few paces down the hallway when I felt a gentle hand be placed on my lower back. At first, I thought it was Draco so I was about to turn around and slap him, but then I realised the touch was too soft to be him... Pansy.

I must admit that throughout the summer I was no longer allowed to be out with Draco, however Dad let me out with my other -more respectable- friends. You know, ones who don't punch my father and make rash, spur of the moment, decisions. So I spent the last few weeks of the holidays with Pansy and Blaise, since Draco had been so careless with his actions. I didn't know what had got into him lately, it seemed as if all he did was make stupid decisions out of 'love for me'... if he loved me that much surely he would have used his brain? It also appeared all we would do was argue and then kiss and make-up. It was quite sad actually...

However, I had begun to grow even closer to Pansy. She was fun to hang out with, that's all...

"Hey, everything okay? It got a little hostile in there..." Her sweet voice pulled me from the depths of my thoughts.

"Oh yeah, don't worry about it."

"He was thinking about it again, wasn't he? Draco..."

I sighed, "Yeah... I don't think he understands it fully, he thinks he does... but I can tell he doesn't. I just cannot risk being associated with him when his thought process is so hasty! I-"

"I know... I know! Just calm down. He said he would protect you, yet all he did was cause you more pain (quite literally)... You didn't deserve it." She reassured me.

"I know... I mean, I don't need someone to protect me, everytime people try they fail anyway! I might as well do it myself! It's pathetic really..." a single lilac tear escaped my eyes and rolled down my cheek, dropping into the floor, burning a small hole in the carpet.

Over the summer, my father and Lucius also tried to help me hone my 'powers', yet there would always be times where I was hyper-emotional and it was possible to slip up. For example, one time during a particularly gruelling 'lesson' I accidentally shattered a chandelier... The only thing was, I needed to learn quickly as I was terrified of hurting Kit. I had also had a long conversation with Pansy and Blaise about them and how I was basically a weapon for my dad to use.

"Of course you don't need him! He was cowardice when he was meant to be there for you." She said again, pulling me in for a tight hug.

Right... Cowardice...