Dearest Ben,
Not a good couple of days, I'll tell you that. I've been quite busy: dentist appointments, Bible study, school work, so I didn't have time to write to you. Yesterday I felt really low, but there wasn't anytime to write, so I talked to Imaginary Ben instead. Now I'm writing today, because Ada is wearing out everyone's patience and they're taking it out on me. I feel lost. Completely lost. I don't know what I'm doing anymore. My friends keep asking how I am, but they don't care, not really. I'm alone again. I have to pretend I'm okay to everyone when I'm not.
A few happy things to say though, the first being I might have a pen pal! She's a Christian, and lives in Peru. I'm very excited. I want to get to know her well before she visits England for four months in the summer.
The second is my drawing and animating. It's going so well! I'm still excited for college. One day I'll inspire many people.
The third is my TMAs. So I do my learning with Oxford, and they have something called tutor marked assignments, or TMAs. Every month I'll submit a TMA for each of my four subjects, until when I finish my courses, and then I'll have mock exams. So far I've only had my German and Maths results back...44/45 for German (I lost a mark for answering in German) and 97% in Maths!
What a completely and utterly horrible day. I just felt so bad. Like giving up. So tired. So weak. I couldn't find the strength to move. Can anemia get this bad? Stupid iron deficiency. Stupid low red blood cells. All my life gets put on hold just because I'm anemic. Kaori was anemic too, although she did also have Freidreich Ataxia. Imagine being able to play the violin and then not being able to hold the bow. She couldn't even stand up. But when she died, Kaori taught me something. We live our lives regretting not doing things we wanted to. We get scared, depressed, but we don't care because we know we won't die for a while. Kaori was going to die. She knew that. So she did everything she wanted to, before dying at the age of 14. The best thing she did was give a little light on a pianists life, a life that had lost it because they lost someone they loved. That pianist entered piano competitions again. That pianist enjoyed life again.
"The path ahead may be dark. But I will keep walking, believing that the stars will shine a little light on that path." - Kaori Miyazono
I will keep walking, hoping one day, I'll get to see you again. That is my only prayer.
I love you more than you could ever imagine.
Yours,
Eloise xxx
P.S. I scored 92% in English Language! Just got my results back.
YOU ARE READING
Waiting for a Miracle
Non-FictionMy name is Eloise. What you are about to read is a diary of events in my life. A year ago I was forbidden from seeing my best friend, Ben, and I fell into depression. I decided to start writing a diary to him so he wouldn't miss out on everything I...
