My dear, dear Ben,
So I looked at my phone today after a week of ignoring my friends. 6 texts off Jazz, 65 and 7 missed calls from Meela, 2 from Hermionie and 1 off Kiwi (Keira - these are all nicknames apart from Hermionie). Meela has been texting me constantly in the middle of the night and super early in the morning. I haven't been to my Bible study in a while either, I keep telling Becky I don't feel up to it. Man, everyone is so worried. I guess it's because I'm so suicidal. Well I'm not looking forward to tomorrow, because Meela had invited everyone out to a meal a while ago now. It's for her birthday, even though her birthday was a few days ago. I can't exactly ignore them in person. I do feel kinda bad that I had Meela worrying throughout her entire birthday though. I have to ruin everything, don't I. I even ruined Christmas.
I was so caught up in depression I didn't feel like it was here. My 15th birthday didn't feel like my birthday (although it did for a moment when you said happy birthday), and Christmas just felt like another day. And with my depression I'd dragged everyone else down. I hate being depressed.
But I'd go through it for the rest of my life for you.
Which, actually, is what I plan on doing. If I never end up getting my life back (aka you), then I'll stay depressed because I have no reason to be happy.
I also really really really really really really hope you are at church this Sunday.
I love you so so much, and I always will. I promise.
Yours,
Eloise xxx
YOU ARE READING
Waiting for a Miracle
Non-FictionMy name is Eloise. What you are about to read is a diary of events in my life. A year ago I was forbidden from seeing my best friend, Ben, and I fell into depression. I decided to start writing a diary to him so he wouldn't miss out on everything I...
