Heart in Disguise (Heart Series #2)

T H I R T E E N

Philip wasn’t around. He told me that he’ll buy something kaya iniwan niya na muna ako sa cottage. After the incident, he had been more careful towards me. Halos ayaw na niyang maalis ang tingin sa akin.

I regretted what happened yesterday. It was so horrific and I do not know what would happen to me if ever something happened to my babies. Baka magpakamatay na lang ako.

I know it’s a mistake. Taking your own life because of a heavy problem. But, people can’t blame those people who committed or about to commit suicide. They doesn’t know what they’ve gone through. They doesn’t know their pain.

But of course, people should also know that every problem has a solution. Every math equations has formulas for us to have a correct answer.

See? There are ways to cope up problems. All you have to do is trust yourself. If it gets heavy, then go on and talk to people. You do not have to think that you’re a burden because everyone of us has problems. They have their problems too, yes. But if you talked to them whenever you’re heavy, they’ll surely talk to you as well whenever they’re down.

And yes, I pretty well know na mali iyong suicide. Suicide is not an answer for a problem. But as a mother, siguro magagawa ko iyon sa sarili ko if may nangyaring masama sa mga anak ko. As a mother, without them would be a torture to me. And only mothers can understand me.

I breathed out as I looked around our cottage. I felt like cooking because it’s so boring. Pero, I’m scared I might screw up everything na naman and put my life in danger. Ayaw kong mangyari iyon.

“I’ll be careful naman. I don’t want to tire Philip na, e.” I said to myself.

I know that Philip doesn’t have any sleep yet pagkatapos ng nangyari sa akin. Kaya I want to keep it up to him. Para kahit ganoon na lang makabawi ako sa nangyari kahapon.

I bit my lower lip and breathed out. I have finally decided. I will cook him gulay, iyong sari-sari kasi iyon lang ang alam ko.

I went to the kitchen inside the cottage. Yes, they have kitchen inside in case if we doesn’t like to buy fast foods. Or whenever we liked to cook.

I went to the reef and opened it. I told Philip last night to buy sari-sari. But unfortunately, wala palang sari-sari dito. So, he bought different kind of vegetables instead.

“Squash, beans, cabbage…” I chanted as I took out vegetables from the reef.

Nang mailagay ko na lahat ng ingredients sa sink, I started cleaning it one by one. Kumuha lang ako ng tig-isa sa bawat gulay kasi hindi na namin mauubos kung dadamihan ko.

I then started slicing each of it after I cleaned it well. I was very careful in slicing. Halos hindi ko na nga idikit ang mga daliri ko sa kutsilyo just to be careful. Baka mapaano na naman ako and it would give high blood to Philip.

As soon as I was done slicing, I opened the stove. I then started cooking my very own sari-saring gulay. Good thing was I finished cooking before Philip came back.

“Z?” I heard Philip called.

I was already on the balcony of the cottage nang umuwi siya. I smiled at him and waved.

“Philip!” I called him back as I stood up and went to him para salubungin siya.

He smiled timidly and kissed my forehead. He caressed my waist as he showed me something.

“Food. I bought you avocado ice cream with cheese,” he said.

My mouth formed into an ‘o’. Sa sobrang tuwa ko ay agad ko siyang niyakap at hinalikan sa pisngi.