Heart in Disguise (Heart Series #2)

F I F T E E N

I stared above the ceiling. It’s pure white yet I could see my crying and bleeding reflection on it. It was like the ceiling was mirroring my emotions. It was like the ceiling was my teller for myself to stop from breaking.

The water drops on my body. It’s cold yet no matter how freezing it is, I couldn’t be able to feel it. I am numb.

But guess what? The water droplets made me feel so secure. I’m broken yet numb. And I do not know where to start picking up myself.

Today is our wedding preparation. Mom went inside my room and told me that we’ll have our wedding preparation today. Ganoon kabilis. They really want to make things happen as soon as possible. Because they don’t want their name to be ruined.

I am currently at the shower room trying to calm myself. Pilit kong tinatanggal ang sakit at bigat sa dibdib ko. It wasn’t like before. I couldn’t feel my chest getting lighter. It’s so heavy that I don’t want to lift up my body.

Nang matapos akong maligo ay nagbihis na ako agad. I wore a pink dress and a black stilettos. I then went out of the room and went straight to the living room.

Naabutan ko si Philip, Mom at Dad doon. They were talking about something that I do not want to know. I walked near them coldly and seated on the single sofa.

“It’s good that you’re here now, Zevi. Today will be your wedding preparation. You and Philip will go to a boutique where the organizers are,” Dad started.

“Better be good there, girl. Do not disappoint me,” Mom said icily.

I breath out and nodded. But I did not answer.

“Philip, better look after your fiancee. We all know what she can do. She’s hard-headed so better watch out for her,” Mom said.

I saw Philip nodded on my peripheral vision. “Yes, Tita.”

“Alright. Take care,” Dad said as we all stood up.

Nauna na akong maglakad. I went straight to the car pero pa muna ako pumasok. I saw Dad, Mom and Philip talking. I did not bother listening.

Philip then walked towards me. He smiled timidly and kissed my forehead.

“Are you ready?” He asked.

I looked at him blankly. “Do you think I am? I never planned having a wedding preparation, Philip. Do you really think I like this?” Himutok ko.

He smiled sadly. “I know. I’m sorry.” He whispered.

Malamlam ko siyang tiningnan. I know I hurt him again. I did it again.

I breathed out as I looked away. “I’m sorry,” I whispered at him.

Lumapit siya sa akin saka hinaplos ang likod ko. “Sorry for what?” He asked softly.

“Sorry for hurting you again and again. I’m sorry dahil palagi kitang nasasaktan. I’m sorry because by loving me, I’m hurting you,” I said and smiled sadly at him.

He chuckled painfully. He nodded. “I’m fine. I can handle the pain, Z. As long as I’m with you, I’ll be fine. Hurt me all you want, I don’t care.”

“Philip, please lose me to find you,” I whispered before I entered the car.

Our ride was silent. A painful awkward silence. But we still made it. We made it through the pain and reached the boutique that my parents were saying.

Alalay na alalay sa akin si Philip habang papasok kami sa boutique. The moment we entered the entrance, a gay or should I say a transgender immediately went to us and greeted us.