Flashes And Palettes | 𝘈𝘳𝘶𝘈𝘯𝘪

37. Soon, None Will Be Left

The doctor permitted me to go home the day after. Astra stayed at the hospital to receive better care. Although I want to take her home, I know that she'll be taken care of better in the hospital than in the house.

I looked around the house and smiled bitterly. In my dreams and imaginations, there are two little girls running around. Before I got pregnant, Armin being here makes me feel complete. But right now, even with Armin here, it feels so empty. I went to the baby room and ran my fingers on the crib.

A baby girl with crystalline blue eyes like mine, laughing continuously. I held her cheek and was beyond shocked when she wrapped her little fingers around my thumb then smiled even wider. My Amelie, my gorgeous Amelie. She got her features from Armin. It seems like the eye color is the only thing she got from me. I smiled and picked her up, carrying her in my arms. She reached out to touch my face. However, she didn't succeed because of her short arms.

"Schatz."

"Schatz." I opened my eyes and turned around to face Armin. He is holding a little white urn with gold moons and stars around. I removed my hold from the crib and went to Armin. I closed my eyes for a moment and opened it again. "Let's put her together on the shelf." He smiled and I nodded.

We went to the living room and put her on a wall mounted shelf with a small vase of flowers beside her urn. I wrapped my arms around Armin's arm and rested my head on him. Armin opened his phone and showed me Amelie's picture. Her eyes are close and she looks peaceful. Like an angel.

I mean, she is my literal darling angel now. I hope you are soaring high, Amelie.

"She looks like you." Armin said and I nodded. I agree. Astra looks like him and Amelie looks like me. It's fair.

"Should we eat dinner already? Come on, we have to be early. We'll visit Astra Maeve tomorrow." I said.

"Sure, my love." He answered and smirked. I am feeling better now. Seeing Amelie even if she's in an urn already is already great for me. It's not enough, of course it will never be. It will never fill the void I have in my heart but it successfully made me happier.

We bought dinner along the way. I decided to stick with vegetables to keep me healthy. I need to stay healthy to be able to take care of Astra Maeve. She'll need me. I mean, right now, she already needs me. I hope I can be beside her but the doctor's advised us to keep a safe distance from Astra for the mean time. Of course, I abide with the rules. I don't want to harm my own daughter.

"You suck, Armin." I rolled my eyes.

"What? Why? What did I do?" He laughed and showed me his steak before he ate it.

"Don't be like that!" I frowned.

"Like what?" He asked, acting clueless.

"Never mind." I sighed and continued eating. My heart fluttered when I saw three slices of his steak in my plate. I looked at him and smiled. "I love you so much, Armin. I take it back, you don't suck. You are the best." I smiled and happily at them.

"How can I resist you, schatz?" He smiled and continued eating.

~ • ~

"If I can name a star related to you, I'll name it 'ugly face'." Armin said and laughed.

"Says someone who is so obsessed with me." I rolled my eyes. "If I'll name a star related to you, I'll name it 'asshole'." We both laughed as we continue on bullying each other while cuddling.

"You are the most beautiful girl I've fucking seen. Aside from Astra and Amelie, of course. Also Mom. You four are the only girls I love." He smiled and hugged me even tighter.

"What about Mikasa?" I asked.

"Eren will be so mad at me. That dumbass doesn't know what platonic means." We laughed again. He is such a bully. "But yeah, I love you a lot. I love you so much. I love you most. I'll love you forever. I won't stop loving you." Why is he extra sweet today?

"I know you are still sad." He said. "I can see it. I can feel it. You don't have to pretend you are fine to please me. I'll be more pleased if you show what you're truly feeling. I don't want to be the one who stops you from letting out your emotions. I don't want you to hide all your pain just to make me happy." He continued. I swallowed as my tears started falling again. Damn, how did I get so lucky?

"Seeing you happy makes me happy. But you, showing your real emotions, makes me feel better." He said. I looked up and moved my face closer to his until our lips touched. We closed our eyes and let the intimacy take over us. "That kiss ends here." He smiled and pulled me closer to his embrace. Hmm, home.

~ • ~

We arrived at the hospital at exactly 2:43PM. Armin and I watched Astra through the huge window. I can't help but smile whenever she makes small movements. She is so adorable.

"Mr. and Mrs. Arlert?" The doctor called us. We turned to his direction. "Can I have a minute with you two?" He asked and we both nodded. I nervously touched the pendant of my necklace as the doctor talks.

"Astra might have to stay here longer." He said. I frowned.

"Can you please tell us why?" Armin asked.

"Bronchopulmonary dysplasia. It's a chronic lung disease that some newborns develop especially premature babies. Many infants recover but some suffer for a long time. Considering that your daughter was born prematurely, made her prone to it. And now, she has it." My heart started pounding. Half of my world has fallen when Amelie died and now, the half that was left is slowly crumbling.

It feels like that soon, none will be left.

"Well, is there a cure for it?" Armin asked.

"There is no specific cure for it." The doctor simply said before he left.

At least let Astra stay..

~ • ~

Thank you for reading. Hope you enjoyed the chapter. I have decided that I will extend this. I don't know if I'll extend it up to forty-five or fifty but I will extend it. The ending has been planned tho. Btw, don't attack me for Astra having bronchopulmonary dysplasia. Not my fault. Lol.