Six Letters, Two Words [NALU: FANFICTION]

CHAPTER #29

HE STARED at me as if he was trying to read my mind – I smiled at him, reassuring him that whatever I'm going to say will never harm him. I kept staring at him and for the first time I let him see the pain in my eyes. My mouth dropped open as he approached me and hugged me tightly.

I couldn't move from where I was standing and closed my eyes as I felt his probably the last hug that he gave me, "why do I feel like you're leaving me, babe?" he whispered.

One of his arms is wrapped around my waist while one of his hands caresses my hair. I felt something stuck in my mouth and I was unable to speak to him. It was a question that I never expected him to ask me.

"Lisanna is coming back, Natsu" I whisper – I felt him flinch which makes me smile bitterly "She called me six days ago," I swallowed my sobs and then stare on the ceiling as if it will help me to stop my tears "But what I'm going to tell you is not really related to her but to me. And I really hope that you will listen to me" even though you're not interested in me.

I slipped out of his embrace and stared into his face. I could see in his eyes that he was confused. He cleared his throat then looked down as if he was trying to reorganize his thoughts.

I smiled bitterly at his reaction - I held out one of his hands – squeezing slightly, silently telling him that I'm here with him.

"I'm the one here in front of you but you're thinking about her, Natsu" I saw the shock written all over his face when he met my gaze again "Don't worry Natsu. If you want to see my best friend. I won't stop you. But please, hear me out."

He sighs, "All right tell me"

I took a deep breath and looked hard at him "I love you, Natsu"

I saw his expression change – it was the expression I never knew I'd see him. Confused. I felt the tightness of my chest as I stared into his face. He opened his mouth to say something but he eventually closed it as if his own words failed him.

I expected him to react like this but it still hurts.

"I... Lucy," he looked confused and upset "You can't love me, yet" the last words were almost like a whisper.

I don't know why he said 'yet' but to tell you honestly, it was a word that gave me a little hope for him. Hope that he will eventually love me like I did.

But as I looked at his face. In his reaction. I knew in myself that it was impossible for what I wanted to happen. That his love was not really for me but for another woman.

"I know. I just want to inform you," I smiled at him before sighing "You don't have to answer me, Natsu. I'm okay"

I'm not okay!

I clear my throat and smile at him which makes him even look confused. Maybe he was thinking why I'm smiling despite the fact that he rejected me. To be honest, I really want to cry but I just don't want him to see me being hurt. I still want him to see how strong I am.

"I have to go back to my office to get ready for our meeting. See you later" I say casually.

I didn't wait for what he would say because I had already started walking towards my office. I didn't look back and just kept walking while feeling my heart slowly breaking down.

Erza was right. I loved him so much and I left no love for myself.

THREE days since I confessed my feelings for him. Three days ever since he avoided me as if I had a contagious disease. Three days since I locked myself in my office to further increase the security of my system. I don't know what went through my mind but maybe because I was broken hearted my sleeping brain cells started working.