Always And Never (Sapnotfound)

Chapter 21

Sapnaps POV

   "Sapnap, why did you say my name?"

   "What?" I'd said his name so many times tonight, what was he referring to?

   "With your girlfriend. I just want to know why you said my name, you seemed to had moved on quickly."

   Oh.

   "I didn't realize you'd actually were paying attention when I said that," I lifted a hand to run it through my hair, thinking, "She was a distraction, really, and nowhere near as good to me as you. So I guess when she was- uh, being a distraction, my mind slipped to you and what you'd do to me. I guess I wasn't as careful as usual cause I let your name come out."

   He walks closer, a broken look on his face, "you think about me?"

   "All the time George. God my mind never left you if I wasn't completely focused on another task. You can't say you really believed that shitty text."

   "No, I didn't. I just thought I'd done something wrong." He looks away from me.

   "No!" He shouldn't feel that way, I didn't want him to feel that way, "George, my dad found the skirt, he found about us, he and my mom were at the restaurant. He made me. I never wanted to do it."

   "You... you could've told me. I could've helped." He walked closer to me,, "Fuck, Nick, Dreams mom has always told you that you could stay here. Yet you listen to your dad."

   I sigh, he was right, "They're my family George, I wanted to try and make things work."

   "He hurt you Sapnap, he'd been hurting you!"

   "We were fine until he hit me, until he tried to abuse me."

   George looked at me like I was insane, "it doesn't have to be physical to be abuse Sap! He was hurting you and controlling you and you should've told someone about it."

   "I was fine! I was handling it, things were going fine until I let myself have you!"

   I didn't like the look on his face, "So it was my fault? I didn't turn you gay Sapnap. You came onto me first. I was doing you good, you could finally be yourself. But when he threatened you, instead of coming to the people who care about you, you let him win."

   "No! It's not your fault!" Fuck. "It's just- George they're my family! I can't just leave them because they don't agree with one part of me."

   "Seems like you did leave them for that reason though."

   "Only after he hit me."

   "Is that what it takes for you to realize the what's happening. Inknow they're your family, I know it would hurt to leave them. But fuck, Dream and I, our parents, we're you're family too."

   "It's not the same."

   "You're right. It's not, you got to choose us. Is that's why it was so easy to leave and shut us out? We aren't real enough? Blood is thicker than water? Bullshit."

   "No, that's not-"

   "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb, Sapnap, but I guess the bind wasn't good enough."

   He gives me a defeated sigh.

   "I'm sorry." I whisper."

   "So am I."

   With that I'm left alone in the dark room. I have a lot to think about.

...

A/N - they fight :(
Sorry it's short!