To Mend A Soul

~ 5 ~

The Bad Boy isn't so bad

 ✠ 

Author's Note: The song given soon below in this story is NOT written by me or originally written and sung by anyone else but the amazing Griff. But for the purposes of this story, please pretend it's an original by Charis Harding. Thank you.

My hands were tied, the blood oozing out and drenching the rope.

"Let me Goo!!"

"Pay your price!!"

"Let me Gooo"

"You deserved to die!!"

He kept piercing the knife through my skin, wherever he found it possible to, speaking sentences I didn't understand when all I could keep saying was to let me go.

"You weren't meant for this world!!" he spoke again in his gruesome god-awful voice. It was gruff and slimy and..

"Prepare your final words!!"

"Leave me alone what do you want!!" I cried pleading for anything else to happen...anything but this.

"I want you to go to hell!!"

"I'll pay you you whatever you want!!"

"Have you paid for your life?"

The words kept echoing in me. Why did I have to pay for my life and why did the same dream haunt me. Before I knew it I was pushed into something, and all I felt was air....falling and falling and falling until I hit the water. Unable to breathe. Unable to move. Drowning. Screaming.

Screaming.

There I saw...Papa...watching me drown from above...letting me sink...looking at me in disappointment...

"You messed up" he mouthed the words, letting me sink. And that's when it all died down.

I gasped awake from my nightmare.

I was struggling for breath.

"It's ok....it's ok" I whispered to myself like I always do everytime this happened. I tried to calm myself down hoping it wasn't one of those times where I hyperventilated to a full-blown breakdown that I couldn't control or couldn't stop for more than an hour.

What to do what to do what to do...

I looked over to my table to find a mug of coffee...that's when I remembered.

It was dark outside, my room was dull and only the moonlight peeking in allowed me to see through clearly. I wiped my nose and patted my head and neck which was now sweating profusely. I felt numb. I felt it all slowly coming back. The thoughts...the feeling...the burn.

I had to stop it.

My breathing still not pacing down as if I ran 5 minutes straight without stopping. I got up but my legs felt wobbly. I was slowly starting to feel light headed.

Water.

I slowly start walking like I'm alright. I almost trip over my now weak toes but I regain my balance.

I open the door and lean against my doorframe, the hallway to the stairs looking woozy.

"Everythings f-fine" I whispered to myself. 

I began putting one front in front of the other, slightly stumbling and staggering, walking slowly. I lose my balance again and lean against the wall near the staircase. I take a deep breath and close my eyes. I try to focus but all I can hear are my extremely fast heartbeats that feels like it keeps increasing every second.