Colors || Lee Jeno

Chapter 20

"Hyewon! What the hell was that?" Lucas asked, following her into her room that night and closing the door behind him.

"What are you talking about? We had to get home before Kun freaked." She replied with a shrug.

"No I mean, why'd you dip so fast after kissing him?"

"Wait... you were awake?"

"Of course I was awake, you idiot." He sighed. "Hye, he likes you a lot. It's obvious. He's thinking about his future with you and everything, why are still holding back?"

"I'm not-"

"Yes you are. Jeno treats you better than I've ever seen someone treat you. The two of you just gel together so evenly, but you're not all in on him yet. Why?"

"Because... because of Xiaojun." She sighed out, hanging her head.

"Because of what he said to you in the hallway last night?" Her head shot up in surprise as she looked at him. "I may or may not spend my free time watching the security tapes..."

"Well, yeah it's about that." She groaned. "Xiaojun and I were perfect, or at least I felt we were, and then this happens."

"Perfect is Jeno. Perfect is your soulmate."

"I know but it still feels bad, even though it's been like 3 months since the breakup, I feel like I'm being a horrible person if I move on so easily when HES still hurting." She said with a frown. "Especially when we felt so perfect together sometimes."

"Well, here's one thing that's not perfect about Xiaojun." Lucas began, taking a seat next to her. "He lied to you."

"What? When?" She asked with wide eyes.

"Your last anniversary. He lied about the gift arriving late and all that planning. He did forget it and just pulled all that together that evening."

"Are you kidding?" She groaned, rolling her eyes. "Jeno made Taeyong throw a whole ass party for my birthday only 3 weeks after we met, and Xiaojun actually forgot out 1 year anniversary?"

Lucas nodded.

"Okay fine, he obviously fucked up, but then why is he tormenting me like this!" She exclaimed. "I feel horrible about being friends with Jeno."

"Xiaojun is hurting and he's just being immature." Lucas said, rubbing her back. "He wants you to feel the same loss that he does."

"I do feel the loss.... I'm just also trying not to cut Jeno off either. What kind of friend does that?"

"You know, Hyewon.... It's okay to like him."

"What? Lucas, what are you talking about?" She asked. "I thought we already established this."

"It's okay to like Jeno as more than friends."

"What do you...?"

"Hye, I know you feel guilty about all of this, but you're allowed to move on. You're allowed to be fully over Xiaojun, even if he's not over you. It's okay to have fallen out of love already and it's okay to start falling for someone else." He said softly. "Just because Xiaojun is taking more time to do so, doesn't mean you have to wait for him."

"I'm not-"

"Yes you are. You're holding back because you're guilty. Jeno is all in on you and I know you want to give him your 100% but you're not letting yourself because of Xiaojun." Lucas continued, nodding his head slowly. "Just because you might have been able to move on quicker than he has doesn't make you a bad guy. And it doesn't make the relationship you had, and still have, any less valid or real."

She slowly started nodding, fully processing the words her best friend was saying to her.

"You can feel guilty but you can't let that guilt control you to the point of stopping you from going after someone you want." He said with a smile. "I know you're also worried that Jeno might just be a rebound or a distraction but he's not. And if you won't take me word for it, then you need to give him a chance, give yourself a chance, to see for real."

It felt like a weight had lifted off her shoulders. She was allowed to love him. She was allowed to move on. She knew in her heart that's what she wanted to do but to actually hear someone she trusted vocalize that to her made all the difference.

"Thanks Lucas." She sighed, finally hearing the words she needed to hear.

"Of course, I just you to be happy. And even though it might hurt him, Xiaojun does too. He'll find his person, but you have yours right in front of you, so you need to stop waiting for Xiaojun to be ready, it's about if you're ready."

"You're right."

"Of course I am. I'm always right." Her best friend said with a scoff. "I literally know you better than you know yourself most of the time."

"Maybe there was a mistake and you're really supposed to be my colors." She said lightly, giving him a playful shove.

"Well I have no doubt in my head that you and I are definitely soulmates." He said with an amused nod. "just not that kind."