Why would I forget ? | Roger Taylor

15- Care

25th July 1972

"Was it a good show ?" Freddie asked before hugging my tightly like he usually did after noticing me at one of their gigs. I wrapped one hand back round him, though the other was occupied by a little bag containing Roger's birthday present. In the time they were performing I'd managed to drink enough to not entirely hate the drummer, even though I was really pissed off with him after finding him with that blonde.

"Amazing." I smiled and followed him to the table John had managed to find as Brian and Roger sorted out some of the stuff up on stage. I was nearly tripped up by some extremely pissed guy who had his legs spread far out from his chair, resulting in me muttering a few swear words under my breath.

I never liked the pub scene. Drunk old guys yelling at one another, twig thin girls trying to hunt for their next lay and the miserable women behind the bar being harassed all night made me constantly crave the quiet and calmness of me own flat. I mean, considering I was certainly a fan of drinking, it did shock a few people that I wasn't a fan of going down the pub. But I was currently trying my hardest to be a better friend to Freddie, meaning I was gonna come to as many gigs as I could. Even if I showed up late nearly every time.

I sat close to Fred, fiddling with the necklace sat in line with my collar bones, specifically the one Roger had bought me for my birthday a couple of months ago. I didn't even attempt to hide my nervousness, me and Roger hadn't spoken since I'd accidentally knocked on his door whilst he fucked some blonde. I was drowning I'm different emotions and questions regarding the drummer, but I had to keep them to myself. I had no predictions that tonight was going to be a fun night, but it got me away from my thoughts for a couple of hours.

Freddie took the bag from my hand and glanced inside, raising an eyebrow at me and John. He turned to make sure the drummer wouldn't be able to hear him before sharing exactly what he thought with the two of us sat at the table.

"You seem to care a little too much about a man you claim to hate darling." Freddie smirked and passed me back the bag as my expression grew more embarrassed. I hadn't told him about any of the interactions I'd had with Roger since Brian's birthday, but I wouldn't be surprised if Roger had shared every little detail with his band mates. He used to gossip to me like a bloody teenage girl.

"It's his birthday tomorrow. I wasn't going to get him nothing." I replied, looking over at John who had an expression that told me more than I needed to know. It was pretty clear Roger had told them everything, and spared no detail.

"That's not what I meant darling." Fred murmured.

"He claims you looked heart broken when you knocked on his door. He seems to think you got pretty upset about that girl." John added. My eyes immediately darted to the floor as Freddie nodded. I wasn't exactly heart broken, you're heart had to be fixed to be broken again, but I was pretty pissed off when I saw that blonde had been the one to spoil his cheeks with kisses.

"It wasn't fun to catch him shagging her after we'd kissed don't get me wrong. But it's Roger- what I else was I meant to expect from him ?" The two boys laughed, knowing I was right. Roger was like some bloody legend to them sometimes. I remember Fred being pretty impressed by how many girls he'd sleep with when he first joined the band. Brian wasn't very approving of the way he treated girls, but he and Roger seemed to have different attitudes towards everything.

"Why did you go round there anyway Tee ?" Deaky asked. I wasn't about to tell John that the reason I'd knocked on Rogers door was to ask him why he kissed me- so I instead took a brief moment to pause and come up with an answer.

"I can't remember actually." I chuckled falsely and shrugged. John and Freddie exchanged a small smile and both turned to look at me as I blushed harder.

"Of course you can't." Freddie teased, jabbing me in the ribs. I responded in a quiet laughter before noticing the blonde and the tall curly haired guitarist walk over to the table we'd claimed. John shuffled over, allowing Roger to plant himself directly opposite me. I started tapping my leg as my mind filled with all those ifs and buts. What if he tries wants to talk ? But does he hate me ?

"All sorted ?" Deaky asked Brian as Roger let out a loud sigh of frustration. Brian shook his head, well aware of what Rog was about to say next. I kept my eyes well away from the drummers, instead finding comfort in Brian's soft looks and easy smile.

"That fucking amp is gonna kill someone one day Deaks." The four of us laughed, Freddie louder than anyone else, all entertained by Roger annoyance. He rolled his eyes and laughed a little with us.

"Right. Drinks my loves ?" Freddie asked, leaving the seat next to me empty before making his way to the bar.

"Five pints Fred." Brian replied, pausing briefly as he waited for the rest of us to nod in agreement. "Nice to see you Tee." The guitarist smiled with the usual warm tone in his voice.

"Maybe I'm gonna have to get used to the fact you're back now, for good maybe." Rogers added. His tone was playful and a little cocky. He fucking confused me sometimes. It was tense to say the least- the air between us only growing colder as he waited for a response. What didn't help was the fact that everyone around this table knew about how Roger was actually feeling. Everyone but me.

"Maybe." I chuckled.

"What's that there ?" Brian asked, intrigued by the bag on the floor beside me.

"It's for him actually." I pointed at Roger, earning an eyebrow raise from the drummer and a little nod from Brian. John just looked around for Freddie, hoping the singer would soon return to ease the awkwardness.

"Me ?"

"It's for your birthday. But, you can't open it until tomorrow." I slid the bag across the table to a very pleased looking Roger. Brian smiled at me proudly, acting like the true older brother he was.

"Thanks Peps." Me and the blonde exchanged a small smile, our eyes falling onto one another's again. I quickly looked away, luckily to find Freddie return with our drinks.

-

I finished my drink quick enough and decided this way my cue to leave. I'd been chatting to the boys about the usual things, work and love life's, but quickly craved the feeling of falling down on to my old sofa.

"I best be heading back now, it was a good show tonight guys." I got up from my chair beside Freddie and put my jacket back around my torso. "Have a good day tomorrow Rog." I smiled momentarily, shortly retuning back to my previous expression when I noticed the other three all look up and me and smile in awe. What did Roger tell them ?

"Thanks. And thanks for the gift, you didn't have to. I'll catch you later Peps." Roger replied. I gave a little wave goodbye and made my way out the pub, listening to the other band members all shout bye from their seats.

On my walk home I realised each time I saw Roger I went through three different stages. Stage one would consist of either nothing but awkward small talk or bitchy quips at one another as we tried to move past our previous interaction. Stage two would always consist of me being confused. I would rethink my entire past small every interaction between the two of us since Roger acted in a different manner towards me each time we spoke. And finally, stage three, which consisted of me shaking off my thoughts about any of the chances me and Roger had of being together, and remembering who he really was. He was really not the kind of girl that had girlfriends, he was the kind of guy that shagged a different girl each night.

An- thank you for reading :)