The Unpublished Poems

~chaos given a voice~

when you're young there's so many things no one tells you 

when you grow up sometimes you still have to figure out things by yourself 

when people act a certain way and people do things the way they do it makes you think things 

but there's more to the world than anyone ever tells you when you're young 

more to the world than maybe anyone ever says-

and maybe there's so many voices yelling for attention 

and maybe i'm confused and worried and stressed about a thousand things

pulled in too many directions, 

barely even making sense, 

heart still hollow, 

where once you were here now you are gone

and now 

when i'm older i know that the world can spin and the world can crash 

but the album you've listened to on repeat for so long will still play through like it's supposed to 

the computer will still turn on when you push the power button 

even though it's a few years old it still works you know 

don't think about tommorrow, no, not yesterday 

always waiting for someone else to make the first move 

setting aside one idea, diving into another without thinking 

running running 

yes, i know, yes i realize, 

i-

days stretch by and you lose pieces along the way 

years flit in and out of the shadows 

words fill in the gaps

everything i never knew 

everything we ever were 

the things we are, 

the things we can't become 

the things no one understands 

the things they tell you you must be 

everything around you 

everything until you want to turn it off but you can't because you're thinking so hard and there's so many faces 

and you're breathing but you're drowning

you're smiling but you're hollow 

the light comes in, briefly, for a moment, 

filling that gaping hole, 

then the shadows overtake it again 

you forget about everything 

and then it comes back in full and you remember 

put on that same jacket again, 

those same bracelets, who knows why-

years, last year, the year before 

do this, do that 

what i am 

what i feel 

what i don't 

everything that would be so much easier if only-