Beneath the Two | Academy Series #1

Chapter 36

Ibinaba ko ang invitation sa coffee table. My bottom rested on the sofa as I reached for the phone. Idris didn't hang up. Surely, he's already expecting this to happen. Kaya nga siya tumawag. At sigurado rin akong alam na niya 'to.

"Is this true?" Nanginginig pa ang boses ko. "Maybe, they sent us the wrong invitation—baka namali lang, hindi ba?"

I heard him chuckle on the other line. "Ang layo ng Zach sa Jonathan, mare! Saan mo ba nakuha ang balitang si Zach ang pakakasalanan ni Xy?"

I realized how hypothetic I was. Inisip ko na kaagad na si Zach ang fiance niya dahil lang sa isang tanong. At dahil nagkikita sila . . . dahil nakita kong masaya si Zach noon sa kaniya. Hindi ko na kinailangan tanungin, dahil magmumukha lang akong interesado. And that I believed she already gave me the answer I wanted.

"Does that mean they are not together? Should I ask Xy? Baka talagang namali lang 'to. Mistake like this is possible. Baka mali ang nailagay ng gumawa ng invitation. I should raise this concern to Xy," sabi ko sa kausap matapos ang mahabang katahimikan at puro tawa niya lang naririnig ko.

I don't know why I can't accept what I'm seeing right now.

"Ipadadala ba 'to sa atin kung mali? Tama 'to, Leigh. Hindi ikakasal ang ex mo! Ano pakiramdam?" He is teasing me.

"What should I feel?"

"Hindi ka ba masaya? Hindi niya fiancee si Xy, wala siyang karelasyon, wala siyang mahal ngayon. Wala nga ba?" He chuckled.

"There's no difference, Idris. May mahal man siya o wala, ikakasal man siya o hindi, ganoon pa rin naman, we can't be together."

"Paano kapag mahal ka pa niya? Na kaya wala siyang babae sa buhay niya ngayon, dahil ikaw lang ang gusto niya?"

Bumababa ang tingin ko sa hawak na kuwintas. Paano nga ba? Paano kung isang araw ay sabihin niya sa aking mahal niya pa ako? That despite of hurting him before, and killing him with his insecurities, he still love me? Anong gagawin ko? Will I be selfish again? But that would only mean one thing, everything that I did will be put into waste.

All the pain, endurance, and longing that I felt just to push him away will all get wasted.

"Hindi niya ako mahal, Ris. I hurt him so bad. I left him, I disowned him. He doesn't love me anymore, everything that he's showing right now is pure job and consideration for my parent. No one knows, baka may balak pala siyang maghiganti sa akin," I said.

"Paano nga kung mahal ka niya?"

"I said no. He doesn't love me anymore and he can't love me anymore!" naiinis kong sabi sa kaniya.

Hindi pwedeng mahal niya pa rin ako! Dapat galit siya sa akin, I will sincerely accept his rage, his vengeance if ever. He can't come to me and say he still loves me because one word of his affection will make me selfish again. And I don't want that to happen.

"Paano mo naman nasabi, Leigh? Kaya ka biktima lagi ng maling akala, hindi ka nagtatanong. Tatanungin ko siya para sure, pustahan tayo?"

I glanced at the ceiling. Kahit anong sitwasyon, nagagawa niya pa rin maging siraulo. I'm at the edge of breaking down, tear almost fell!

"Shut up, whether this invitation is real or not, you won't ask him. Ayokong malaman ang sagot niya."

"Eh, 'di hindi ko sa 'yo sasabihin. Madali lang naman akong kausap."

Once again, I groaned. "Stay away from this, Ris. This is not a request, but a warning. Kapag nangialam kang magtanong-tanong diyan sa lalaki na 'yan. Sisiguraduhin kong hindi ka na makakapagsalita the next day. I'm gonna cut your throat, so keep quiet!"