Beauty And Baby

BAB 29

Escape

Ellaine Gianne's

"Final na ba talaga?" Jilian said to me. Nagaayos kasi ako ng gamit sa opisina ko. I resigned at my work.

Hindi gusto ni Lolo Karlos ang desisyon ko because I have been in the company for how many years tapos bigla-bigla na lang akong aalis.

Hindi naman sa ginusto kong mag-resign peri kailangan ko. I went to the doctor yesterday and I confirmed that I was indeed pregnant and it's 4 weeks now.

The bad news is mahina ang kapit ng bata and it is dangerous dahil nasa first trimester pa lang ako. The doctor adviced for me to bed rest and I would gladly agree because it is for my child. I have been wanting to have a baby and I would never waste this chance.

Noong nagpa check up ako. I heard, I already heard he's/her heart beat. There's already a life inside my tummy and I am so happy about it. Kahit nga parang kamao ko lang siya kalaki ay mahal ko na siya. Hindi pa siya nagmumukhang tao ay mahal ko na siya.

"Final na, Jil. I'm sorry to leave you like this but I just needed to." her eyes begin to water and mine too. Ang bilis ko na talagang maiyak ngayon. Maybe it's because of the pregnancy hormones.

"Don't cry, may papalit naman sa akin." her face suddenly became sulky. Natawa ako sa sudden change of emotions niya.

"It's Matilde, Ma'am El. We all know na insecure iyon sayo tapos hindi naman iyon mabait!" she ranted and I just shook my head. I tapped her shoulder.

"Kaya mo yan, ikaw pa. Ikaw kaya the best na assistant." her eyes lit up na para bang magic words ang sinabi ko. Niyakap niya ako ng mahigpit.

"Mamimiss kita talaga." I nodded at her.

"Ako din." I smiled and look around my office. I would also miss working too.

~•~

I went home after going to the office. Balak kong lumipat muna. Na sabi ko na kay Lola Erlinda pero hindi niya alam ang dahilan. She just agrees to me pero alam kong alam niya na may problema ako. She's my Lola E and I have been with her for all my life. She knows me too well. Baka magtatanong din iyon sa akin kahit ano mang oras.

I walk to my room and packed my remaining things. Halos lahat naman na naka-impake na the girls are here yesterday to help me.

They are very supportive with my decision kahit napaka vague ng sinabi kong rason sa kanila.

I am busy packing when Lola walks inside my room. She walks towards me kaya napatigil ako sa ginagawa ko.
She lets us sit at my bed.

"Apo, alam kong may problema ka. Nandito lang naman ako palagi, tandaan mo iyan." Lola keeps caressing my cheeks which warms my heart and then it makes me cry.

Hindi ko alam ba't ako naiyak sa simpleng ganoon lang ni Lola. Pero it makes me warm inside.

I always long for a motherly love. Hindi ko sasabihing hindi naging mabuting ina ang mama ko sa akin pero hindi ko naramdaman na mahal na mahal niya ako. She gives me all the things that I needed but she was never sweet nor caring to me. She was depressed and obsessed because of my father. Nasa centro ng buhay niya ang Papa ko kaya mukhang nakalimutan na niyang may anak pala siya na kailangan ng hindi lang mga materyal na bagay na kaya niyang ibigay sa akin kundi oras, pag-aalaga, at sapat na pagmamahal na mukhang nakalimutan niyang ibigay sa akin o baka naibigay niya pero hindi naging sapat iyon sa akin.