Beauty And Baby

BAB 1

Plan

Ellaine

"You're totally crazy to come up with that plan, Ellaine." I rolled my eyes at Tamara.

"Crazy? No. I am not. Besides hindi naman malalaman ng pipiliin kong magiging tatay ng anak ko na may anak kami. I just wanted a child, Mara." I took a sip from my vodka.

We are here at the Devil's Den Bar. Nasa isang private room na kami lang dalawa with a bunch of liquor in front of the table. Wala eh. Niloko na naman ang bruha. Men really are always shameless.

"That's not good, El. Tinanggalan mo na agad ng karapatan ang magiging ama ng anak mo na maging isang ama at pwede kang kasuhan sa gagawin mo." and for the nth time I rolled my eyes at her. Kahit kailan talaga ay kontra sa akin ang babaeng ito.

"Hindi niya naman malalaman na mabubuntis ako no! And besides men don't like responsibilities. Ilang kaibigan nating babae ang tinakbuhan ng mga boyfriends nila ng malaman na buntis sila?" she just sighed in defeat because she knows that it's true. We both are one of the main witnesses of that.

"You never know, El. At baka drug addict at kung sino lang ang magiging ama ng inaanak ko." pinagtaasan ko siya ng kilay. I am offended!

"Excuse me? Why the hell would I let my future child have a father na drug addict? Wala ka bang tiwala sa taste ko? Magaling kaya akong kumilatis ng lalaki. Unlike sa mga kaibigan nating naniniwala pa rin sa true love. Wala na namang ganoon ngayon except of course kapag kadugo mo. That's why I wanted a child. Blood is thicker than water, remember?" she just shrugged and shut her mouth. Alam na niyang wala talaga siyang panalo sa akin.

Whatever happens I will proceed with my plan. But first comes first. I need to find a man that would be suitable for my plan.

"Jilian, nahanap mo na ba ang files na pinapahanap ko sayo?" I am here at the office working. Kailangan ko pa ngang mag OT ngayon dahil sa papalapit na event sa office.

"Yes po, ma'am. Nilagay ko na po sa table niyo." I nodded at her and put my focus again on what I am working on. Ang dami kasing kailangan na ipasa ngayon at papirmahan sa CEO ng company. This is my daily routine everyday and it's very tiring. Kaya nga naisipan ko ng mag settled down with my future baby.

Gabing-gabi na akong nakauwi sa bahay namin. I am living with my grandmother sa side ng mama ko. Both my parents already died because of sickness. My mother died because of diabetes and my father died because of prostate cancer. Well good for him that is his karma for being a casanova all his life.

Isa pa sa rason kung bakit ayaw ko sa mga lalaki because I grew up with my dad having so many affairs and my mother just let it. How pathetic.

I cannot accept her reason that it is for me that she didn't want to let go of my father. I can totally understand if she will leave him dahil alam kong nasasaktan na siya and I am also hurting whenever I can see my father with another woman. I already told my mother that it's okay. But she kept making herself fooled by my father.

Love? No. It's already foolishness.

Tanga ang mama ko dahil pinayagan niyang saktan siya ng taong mahal niya. My father is a total jerk for being not contented and faithful to the woman he already married. And in the end? After all the heartaches and tears of my mother, sa amin--sa kay mama pa rin ang bagsak niya. Where are all the women he's having an affair with? Wala.

Wala ni isa sa kanila ang tumulong kay papa noong malaman nila na Papa has prostate cancer because all they wanted was just a little fun of him. Papa failed to see how much he was really loved by my mother--love to the extent of letting him go with other women, love to the extent of losing herself and love to the extent of not loving and minding herself anymore and that is his biggest mistake.

While he is very busy chasing the little fun he wanted, he slowly lost his daughter. My respect is fading as well as the trust towards men. That's what I promise to myself that I will never be like my mom who will tolerate and just keep her heartaches to herself. A fool of love towards men.

That's bullshit.

"Hi, lola. Bakit gising ka pa po?" nagmano ako sa kanya. Lola Erlinda is already 73 years old but still strong as ever.

"Apo, bakit naman ako makakatulog kung wala ka pa? Pagsasabihan ko talaga iyang pinagtatrabahuan mo na huwag kang pagabihin ng uwi!" I scratch my nose because of what lola Erlinda said.

Namana ko talaga sa kanya ang pagiging maldita ko but I can never blame her because I know she loves me.

"Kailangan lang talaga lola. Humiga ka na roon sa kama at susunod na ako. Nakakasama sayong magpuyat." she nodded and walked towards her room.

Kahit na dalawa naman ang kwarto dito ay magkatabi pa rin kami ni lola matulog. Hindi ako sanay na natutulog mag-isa.

Nasa isang maliit na apartment lang kami ni lola. May bahay na naman akong napatayo sa lupang binili ko years ago but she didn't want to live there. She said it was too big and she wanted me to live there with my family. I kept on persuading her but she didn't want to. Okay lang naman kahit dito kami tumira muna. Rent here is not expensive.

Maybe she will feel lonely there dahil dalawa lang naman kami sa iisang bahay. I understand her.

Wala na kaming problema sa pera because I already saved up more than enough. I just needed to save more for my plan.

After my body is relaxed. I take a half-bath to clean myself. I also did my night skincare routine in front of my mirror in my bedroom. I just stared at myself for a while. I sighed so many times.

"Am I really ready for this?" nakatutok ako sa aking sariling repleksyon sa salamin. Cause if I already started this there is no turning back anymore. I should be firm and one hundred and one percent sure of my plan.

I sighed for the last time. I look at myself in the mirror but this time with confidence and determination. Gusto ko ng anak, gusto ko ng magka-anak.

"I am ready." the time is ticking so fast. Hindi na naman ako bumabata para mag inarte pa.

I really wanted a child. I wanted to have a daughter or a son.